Comments on: Why I said fringe http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/19/why-i-said-fringe/ writing, mothering, writing about mothering Sun, 07 Sep 2008 08:19:09 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc By: Melissa http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/19/why-i-said-fringe/#comment-3201 Melissa Mon, 21 Aug 2006 21:49:00 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=986#comment-3201 Semi-open is where we live. I didn't know any better at the time. Basically, all correspondence between us and J goes through the agency. They block out any "identifying information" that we accidentally slip in. I would very much like to share my heart with J, and encourage her to share with us as she feels comfortable. But then I wonder how much would be blocked out by the agency if I get too real about adoption and what I've learned recently. It sort of feels like living with the Gestapo (sp?) Well, that sounds a little harsh. Overall, we've been happy with our agency - just wish we had more openess and don't know how to move that way at this stage in the game. Well, I guess I'm blabbering now, so will stop. Melissa :-) Semi-open is where we live. I didn’t know any better at the time. Basically, all correspondence between us and J goes through the agency. They block out any “identifying information” that we accidentally slip in. I would very much like to share my heart with J, and encourage her to share with us as she feels comfortable. But then I wonder how much would be blocked out by the agency if I get too real about adoption and what I’ve learned recently. It sort of feels like living with the Gestapo (sp?) Well, that sounds a little harsh. Overall, we’ve been happy with our agency - just wish we had more openess and don’t know how to move that way at this stage in the game.
Well, I guess I’m blabbering now, so will stop.
Melissa :-)

]]> By: brave http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/19/why-i-said-fringe/#comment-3200 brave Sun, 20 Aug 2006 15:41:26 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=986#comment-3200 adoption in popular magazines? I consider the article progressive if the writer/editors don't use "real mother" for bio or first mother. i was thinking more in adoption circles... adoption in popular magazines? I consider the article progressive if the writer/editors don’t use “real mother” for bio or first mother. i was thinking more in adoption circles…

]]> By: cloudscome http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/19/why-i-said-fringe/#comment-3199 cloudscome Sun, 20 Aug 2006 11:30:54 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=986#comment-3199 You are so right Dawn. What I was told about open adoption seems to have nothing at all to do with reality. I really hate the term "semi-open" because I can never remember what it means. Vague, slippery, some contact but not really... Turns out that is just about where we are living.... grey area, nothing for sure, messages sent but never confirmed. Who is this serving? You are so right Dawn. What I was told about open adoption seems to have nothing at all to do with reality.

I really hate the term “semi-open” because I can never remember what it means. Vague, slippery, some contact but not really…

Turns out that is just about where we are living…. grey area, nothing for sure, messages sent but never confirmed. Who is this serving?

]]> By: Poor_Statue http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/19/why-i-said-fringe/#comment-3198 Poor_Statue Sun, 20 Aug 2006 11:12:58 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=986#comment-3198 I think you made an excellent point about semi-open becoming mainstream while fully open remains on the edge. I'd even suggest that most people consider semi-open to be open which is where much of the confusion lies. I know the difference between the two is something Brenda is continuously trying to get across. I think you made an excellent point about semi-open becoming mainstream while fully open remains on the edge. I’d even suggest that most people consider semi-open to be open which is where much of the confusion lies. I know the difference between the two is something Brenda is continuously trying to get across.

]]> By: Tatjana http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/19/why-i-said-fringe/#comment-3197 Tatjana Sun, 20 Aug 2006 10:54:32 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=986#comment-3197 I looked through some family profiles on the two sites you linked to, and *what a difference*! I'd naively assumed that the "and Mary can't wait to be a mom and loves baking cookies" thing was a stereotype but she exists! Whereas the couples/families on the second website sound like such fun and genuinely lovely people :-) Wow, I've learnt something new. I looked through some family profiles on the two sites you linked to, and *what a difference*! I’d naively assumed that the “and Mary can’t wait to be a mom and loves baking cookies” thing was a stereotype but she exists! Whereas the couples/families on the second website sound like such fun and genuinely lovely people :-) Wow, I’ve learnt something new.

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