Linking linking linking!!!
I am going to suggest that adult adoptees from the closed era may not be the best sources for whether or not adoption is confusing to children and that there are plenty of sources that talk about what it’s like for the children of open adoption.
word.
I think that moms (and dads!) who act as the one described, just shoving a child off, may be very surprised one day to find that kid beating down their door. And no he *doesn’t* really care that he was relinquished. And no he *doesn’t* mind that you aren’t interested in meeting and have your own life now. Because in his mind you procreated and whether or not you (HIS WORDS) “shoved it off on someone else” you still own his DNA and he wants to look at your eyes. Like he wants to look at the eyes of his third cousins or people on the street he’s met twice in his life who are fourth cousins removed. So you don’t get a special pass because you want to be in denial you procreated. (not my experience, the experience of an adult adoptee rather close to me shall we say…)
I sometimes wonder how often people on both sides realize the child is a human in and of themselves. I mean with regards to all KINDS of adoptions. Closed, open, bittersweet, detached, whatever. That kid forms their own opinions. Big time. And not just due to how one parents.
WKH do you have a tennis shoes?
kim.kim, you crack me up.
Your next vacation has to be to the states. We could do some convention of the “adoption” bloggers. We could sit around and laugh for a change!
wkh, thank you for that last paragraph.