Comments on: Treatment AND adoption? http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/12/treatment-and-adoption/ dawn friedman's blog Sat, 22 Nov 2008 12:23:59 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc By: DS-L http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/12/treatment-and-adoption/#comment-3074 DS-L Sun, 13 Aug 2006 12:27:38 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=964#comment-3074 Hah -- Maybe because our daughter was child number three but my DEEPEST worry and biggest fear was an unexpected pregnancy (thus the vasectomy). OMG I could not have handled a bio baby on top of our newly adopted daughter. I am done done done. I also wanted our daughter to know that she was our choice and the completion of our family. The joke in my extended family is that if I ever call someone in tears it is because the vasectomy broke!! :) THat said -- every time I ovulate, I get a wee bit whistful. DS-L Hah — Maybe because our daughter was child number three but my DEEPEST worry and biggest fear was an unexpected pregnancy (thus the vasectomy). OMG I could not have handled a bio baby on top of our newly adopted daughter. I am done done done. I also wanted our daughter to know that she was our choice and the completion of our family. The joke in my extended family is that if I ever call someone in tears it is because the vasectomy broke!! :) THat said — every time I ovulate, I get a wee bit whistful.
DS-L

]]> By: baggage http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/12/treatment-and-adoption/#comment-3073 baggage Sun, 13 Aug 2006 05:35:08 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=964#comment-3073 Wavybrains, I feel the exact same way as you. In my thinking right now, I don't feel a desire to go through fertility treatments. However, I'd be happy to have a pregnancy. I've seen families though were the adoption and pregnancy coincide and it doesn't seem like a bad thing. I know people who are against artificial twinning, but what if they both aren't babies? Wavybrains, I feel the exact same way as you. In my thinking right now, I don’t feel a desire to go through fertility treatments. However, I’d be happy to have a pregnancy. I’ve seen families though were the adoption and pregnancy coincide and it doesn’t seem like a bad thing. I know people who are against artificial twinning, but what if they both aren’t babies?

]]> By: wavybrains http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/12/treatment-and-adoption/#comment-3072 wavybrains Sun, 13 Aug 2006 00:44:54 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=964#comment-3072 Thanks for the link to the article--I found it interesting. My situation is slightly different because we have already decided not to pursue treatment. In Sept. we will take the first classes towards foster-adopt, then enter the long paper chase, THEN are looking at what the SW's forsee as an unpredictable (most likely long) wait for a child. We're talking at least a year. If after classes, we decide to go with IA instead, we are talking about even longer as we save up. My dilemma is, having chosen adoption, do I resume b/c or do I leave the possiblity of a happy accident open? When placement of a child is near, we probably would resume b/c to allow our attention to fully focus on bonding. I respect your decision to use b/c throughout your waiting, and to get a vasectomy after placement, but for us, the plan has always been to pursue adoption first, and if a pregnancy happens sometime in the next 10 years (I'm 27), that's an added bonus. If we feel like our family is complete before then, or we reach a point where it would no longer be a happy accident, then we'll talk vasectomy. Thanks for the link to the article–I found it interesting. My situation is slightly different because we have already decided not to pursue treatment. In Sept. we will take the first classes towards foster-adopt, then enter the long paper chase, THEN are looking at what the SW’s forsee as an unpredictable (most likely long) wait for a child. We’re talking at least a year. If after classes, we decide to go with IA instead, we are talking about even longer as we save up. My dilemma is, having chosen adoption, do I resume b/c or do I leave the possiblity of a happy accident open? When placement of a child is near, we probably would resume b/c to allow our attention to fully focus on bonding. I respect your decision to use b/c throughout your waiting, and to get a vasectomy after placement, but for us, the plan has always been to pursue adoption first, and if a pregnancy happens sometime in the next 10 years (I’m 27), that’s an added bonus. If we feel like our family is complete before then, or we reach a point where it would no longer be a happy accident, then we’ll talk vasectomy.

]]> By: Margie http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/12/treatment-and-adoption/#comment-3071 Margie Sun, 13 Aug 2006 00:13:42 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=964#comment-3071 At the very end of our infertility journey, one cycle of IVF overlapped the start of the adoption process. I found it hard to juggle the different emotions, and when the IVF failed was finally glad to bid infertility treatment good-bye. I think by then I figured out that there were two things I was hoping for - to experience pregnancy, and to be a parent. I was able by that point to really embrace the latter, and the former stopped controlling my life. At the very end of our infertility journey, one cycle of IVF overlapped the start of the adoption process. I found it hard to juggle the different emotions, and when the IVF failed was finally glad to bid infertility treatment good-bye. I think by then I figured out that there were two things I was hoping for - to experience pregnancy, and to be a parent. I was able by that point to really embrace the latter, and the former stopped controlling my life.

]]> By: Tatjana http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/12/treatment-and-adoption/#comment-3070 Tatjana Sat, 12 Aug 2006 21:06:50 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=964#comment-3070 We've been on super careful bc since we stopped TTC. Once the decision had been taken that we wouldn't TTC any more I didn't want to take *any* chances. In fact, we decided to stop halfway through a cycle, a few days before I O'ed eventually - until I got my period I was terrified I might've accidentally gotten pg that cycle after all, lol! Here in Germany, couples have to be long past IF treatments before they get on the road to adoption. Many social services will want to see a year pass before you are allowed to do the home study. Some want you to prove that you've processed your grief and accepted childlessness before moving on to adoption. We're moving to the Netherlands now, where (international) adoption procedures take an average of 5 (!) years and authorities recommend to get on the adoption course waiting list at the same time as starting treatments ... (FWIW, the waiting times don't concern me personally, I'm lucky to be married to an old geezer who is 42+ which gets us into a speed-up procedure :-)) I notice my cycles in a "Oh hello, there you are" sort of way ;-) I have no idea when I O but I keep track of cycle lengths by marking CD1. Idle curiosity of a PCOSer who assumes that her current cycle length will be an indicator of insulin level health. We’ve been on super careful bc since we stopped TTC. Once the decision had been taken that we wouldn’t TTC any more I didn’t want to take *any* chances. In fact, we decided to stop halfway through a cycle, a few days before I O’ed eventually - until I got my period I was terrified I might’ve accidentally gotten pg that cycle after all, lol!

Here in Germany, couples have to be long past IF treatments before they get on the road to adoption. Many social services will want to see a year pass before you are allowed to do the home study. Some want you to prove that you’ve processed your grief and accepted childlessness before moving on to adoption. We’re moving to the Netherlands now, where (international) adoption procedures take an average of 5 (!) years and authorities recommend to get on the adoption course waiting list at the same time as starting treatments …
(FWIW, the waiting times don’t concern me personally, I’m lucky to be married to an old geezer who is 42+ which gets us into a speed-up procedure :-))

I notice my cycles in a “Oh hello, there you are” sort of way ;-) I have no idea when I O but I keep track of cycle lengths by marking CD1. Idle curiosity of a PCOSer who assumes that her current cycle length will be an indicator of insulin level health.

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