Comments on: Polarity http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/04/polarity/ dawn friedman's blog Sat, 22 Nov 2008 08:57:39 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc By: Poor_Statue http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/04/polarity/#comment-13816 Poor_Statue Sun, 06 Aug 2006 16:33:35 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/04/polarity/#comment-13816 Yes, yes, yes. Wow, you really made that birthmother balancing act so clear. Thank you. Yes, yes, yes.

Wow, you really made that birthmother balancing act so clear.

Thank you.

]]> By: Lilian http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/04/polarity/#comment-13815 Lilian Sun, 06 Aug 2006 05:08:01 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/04/polarity/#comment-13815 This is good. I especially liked the part that Debbie already quoted and this: "(And if a woman can be selfish for — gasp! — working full-time for the love of it and not just to put food on the table, imagine how selfish a birth mother must be! Talk about mommy wars!)" I wrote a few lines about mommy wars two weeks ago. I think you got to the heart of the problem when you said that there should be more "ambivalence" and flexibility in these issues, not just "black and white", "saint and sinner." This is good. I especially liked the part that Debbie already quoted and this: “(And if a woman can be selfish for — gasp! — working full-time for the love of it and not just to put food on the table, imagine how selfish a birth mother must be! Talk about mommy wars!)”
I wrote a few lines about mommy wars two weeks ago. I think you got to the heart of the problem when you said that there should be more “ambivalence” and flexibility in these issues, not just “black and white”, “saint and sinner.”

]]> By: Debbie Squires-Lee http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/04/polarity/#comment-13814 Debbie Squires-Lee Sat, 05 Aug 2006 12:09:20 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/04/polarity/#comment-13814 "There should be room for ambivalence in adoption, in abortion, in infertility, in mothering. While the rigidity in our birth mother visions are most clear, we (all women) are stuck with the polarity of saint and sinner. " Perfectly said and really the crux, isn't it? We are all -- birth parents, aparents, first parents, mothers, SAHMs, working Moms, women who choose not to have children -- stuck into boxes of other people's making! Debbie “There should be room for ambivalence in adoption, in abortion, in infertility, in mothering. While the rigidity in our birth mother visions are most clear, we (all women) are stuck with the polarity of saint and sinner. ”
Perfectly said and really the crux, isn’t it? We are all — birth parents, aparents, first parents, mothers, SAHMs, working Moms, women who choose not to have children — stuck into boxes of other people’s making!
Debbie

]]> By: brave http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/04/polarity/#comment-13813 brave Fri, 04 Aug 2006 21:26:01 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/04/polarity/#comment-13813 I really think all this stuff around how birth, bio, first, second, foster, adoptive mothers, etc has a lot more to do with the way the culture forces women into the choice of Madonna/Whore dichotomy. Unmarried mother? Whore! Virgin? Madonna. doesn't offer much room for grey, reasonable decision making. No wonder some pregnant young women give birth in hotel rooms or somewhere else and put the babies in the trash. I really think all this stuff around how birth, bio, first, second, foster, adoptive mothers, etc has a lot more to do with the way the culture forces women into the choice of Madonna/Whore dichotomy. Unmarried mother? Whore! Virgin? Madonna. doesn’t offer much room for grey, reasonable decision making. No wonder some pregnant young women give birth in hotel rooms or somewhere else and put the babies in the trash.

]]> By: Jess http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/04/polarity/#comment-13812 Jess Fri, 04 Aug 2006 17:39:14 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/08/04/polarity/#comment-13812 That single parent link... holy cow. That's just disturbing. That single parent link… holy cow. That’s just disturbing.

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