Mommy Mommy
Today Madison and I were lolling around and she said, patting me gently, “You Mommy Mommy?” And when I said yes she said, “And [her name for Jessica] burt-Mommy?” and I said yes again and she thought about this.
She brings this up now and then. She’ll say it to herself sometimes. I’ll hear her talking to herself and saying, “Mommy is Mommy Mommy and [her name for Jessica] is burt-Mommy.” We have a friend who’s pregnant so now Madison is getting a better idea of what we’re talking about when we tell her that she grew in Jessica’s body “all cozy and safe and warm” before she came to live with us. She, like many 2-year olds, is very interested in the baby that is growing in our friend’s belly.
I wish I knew what this all means in her mind right now. Sometimes she’ll try different names out for me, too. “Mommy. Mom. Mama. Dawn.” She’ll call out for me one way (”Mama!”) and wait for me to answer. Then she’ll say, “You Mommy Mommy?” So I know it’s all part of her thinking about how this adoption thing works. (And I’d realized recently that I never used the word “adoption” or “adopted” with her but was using it generally so I rectified that and we use that with her now when she starts “Mommy Mommy.”)
Speaking of her other mother, I talked to Jessica today about her new job. She so kick ass about work, my gosh. They call her “Tiger” over there because she’s so great at what she does. But she’s traveling a lot lately so we don’t get to see her much although ironically her job is maybe two blocks from us (unfortunately she’s not usually at the headquarters). She said she thought about calling to come over one morning before work but was afraid it was too early. Then another day she called about coming over after but I can’t hear the phone from the basement and Brett was outside so we missed it. I told her to just come by and see if it looks like we’re home. I don’t mind Jessica dropping by unexpectedly if she doesn’t mind finding us occasionally at our worst.
Now that Madison is so into seeing Jessica, I’d like it to happen more.
Do you or other readers have any suggestions on age-appro books on birthing? Ella’s almost 3 and my sis just had a baby. She’s so into him. But she saw my sis trying to breast-feed (my nephew does like like breasts!) and she said “J’s trying to eat F!” I tried to explain it to her without getting into too much detail, but also without brushing aside her concern. Damn this is hard shit.
BTW - I love how Madison is getting know the whole birth mommmy thing. She’s so cute!
I wish posts like this were normal on adoptive mother blogs. And how you just call Jessica the other
mother I wish that was more frequent too.
I love these kinds of posts, they make me want to be a better person.
Da** you got a smart kid there, Dawn. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. And she’s lucky to have two such wonderful Mommies.
This is what I mean when I say, at its best, open adoption can have a poignant,
counter-cultural beauty. It continues to be encouraging to read of the experience
you all are having.
I can’t help but remember, one of the reasons cited for the r.o. we endured was an
“unnanounced visit.” How uppity of us!
I wish you all the love and joy and messiness of any familial relationship.