3 out of 3 homeschooling parents of toddlers
Nov 11, 2005 The Story of My Life
I have two friends who are homeschooling older kids and have toddlers around Madison’s age. Yesterday I happened to see both of them and we had a nice little bitch fest about homeschooling when a destructive small person is bent on death-defying feats and we’ve decided that it’s awfully hard.
Brett has been doing a little more solo-parenting than usual because of things I’ve had to do and inevitably when I come back he looks like someone who has been staring into the mouth of hell for two hours. He asked if it would be easier if we sent Noah to school.
“Are you crazy?!” I said. “Don’t take the big one away or I’ll NEVER get to shower!”
Some days I think it’s too hard and other days I just think it’s hard but not impossible. It’ll get easier. The next year will be awful and then it’ll get better. Hopefully I’ll make it through the winter without going stark, raving mad.
Today I asked Noah to watch Madison while I made dinner for tonight (and one to freeze) because we have a playdate coming and I know I’ll be too hammered to cook in time to get us out the door for Noah to do his part in Shabbat services tonight. I was also making more stock and then I remembered I have to make two dozen treats for the oneg (snacks after services) so I had to do that, too. Madison, of course, was making me nuts (slamming cupboards, tossing strainers around for me to trip over, screaming for grapes). Anyway, I called Noah in to read to her or something (anything!) so I could finish and he didn’t want to because I was cutting up onions and it was making his eyes water.
“So get her out of here!” I said.
“I can’t get in!” he whined from the doorway. “You don’t understand! You never understand! You don’t understand me!”
That card. Can you believe it? The kid isn’t even nine. And of course I understand him. I understand that he doesn’t want to watch his sister because his sister is annoying. I’m a big sister and I know younger siblings are annoying. (As an aside, I’m also a little sister so I know what it is to annoy an older sibling, too.) He thinks I don’t understand him? I even understand how it feels to be put upon by your mother who not only wants you to watch your little sister (in my case, brother) but is also snapping at you — you! who is innocently playing! — for not being thrilled. And I understand what it is to be watching your mother cook a dinner that you don’t even like and yet still you’re supposed to help! Oh I know how it is and I made him watch Madison anyway.
“You don’t understand me either,” I told him (because I can be infantile when I’m scannig the cupboard for ingredients for spontaneous oneg-making). Then I got all martyr-y. “Do you think I like making dinner every night? A dinner that I know you’re probably going to whine about eating? [a low blow but an accurate one] Do you think I want to make homemade cookies instead of just running out and buying some? I don’t want to make homemade cookies but that’s what our budget demands, Noah. And this is a family. We are a team”
This is when he starts rolling his eyes. I understand that, too, because you know I would have been rolling my eyes at my mom at this point, too.
“I am excited about watching you in services and that’s why I’m making these cookies and I would appreciate it if you would help [and here's the kicker] without complaining!”
Yeah, I understand him and truth is he understands me. So then we glared at each other for a bit then he took Madison out and I finished making the damn cookies.
I’m thinking of having an “Oh my god, what in the hell can I make for dinner?” party as part of new my cook-at-home ethos except that I hate to have people actually come and see the horrid carpet in the kitchen. Maybe I could have it and make it part of the invitaiton: Please Ignore the Hideous Carpet It Was Not My Idea.
This is how an “Oh my god, what in the hell can I make for dinner?” party would go. Everyone would bring a dish that’s one or more of the following:
1. Easy to double and freeze.
2. Kid-friendly.
3. Made in the crockpot.
4. Can be made the night before.
5. Can be made in less than 30 minutes (excluding baking time).
Then they would bring a copy of that recipe and two more. Oh and if people wanted to, they could make an easy snack for kids that isn’t crackers instead of a dinner dish since that’s a challenge, too.
I’d supply different sized index cards for people to copy down the recipes and then we’d eat and gab.
November 11th, 2005 at 3:15 pm
That sounds like an amazing party! I’d totally come (and of course ignore the carpet - no one can fault you for the decor of the house you just moved into!) if, you konw, I lived less than a country away. *grin*
But I will definitely be stealing that idea to use with people in my geographical area…
November 11th, 2005 at 3:39 pm
What a great idea! And a wonderful way to build community.
November 11th, 2005 at 3:44 pm
I totally love that party idea. If I had more friends close to me (and a lack of horrifying carpet which was also not my idea ;), I might do the same.
November 11th, 2005 at 4:25 pm
I too have many time restrictions. Here is a recipe given to me from a sympathetic friend.
5 hr Stew
1 lb. stewing beef (raw)(or any other meat you like)
1 28 oz. can of tomatoes (diced or broken up with a spoon)
1 cup tomato juice
3 tblsp. tapioca pudding granules
1 green pepper, cut into 2 inch pieces
4 potatoes, diced into 2 inch pieces
5 or 6 carrots, cut into 2 inch pieces
3 or 4 stalks of celery, cut into 2 inch pieces
2 onions, cut into big chunks
1 garlic clove
1 tblsp. white sugar
Spice it to your taste
Put all ingredients together in a big roasting pan and stir well.
Bake at 250 degrees for 5 hours.
DO NOT LIFT THE LID!!
This is such a great supper! All of the ingredients come out so tender.
I love it because you can make it at lunch time and then work away at
other things all afternoon and dinner is magically ready at 5 or 6 p.m. and it freezes well!
November 11th, 2005 at 6:00 pm
It blows my grocery budget to have to pay for airfare for the three of us - and I’d probably get hassled at the border coming and going (no real reason for it, just a feeling I have).
So I’m going to try and participate in a virtual way.
Yeah. If I can think of anything else besides couscous and canned tuna - which is what I am becoming famous for serving to my children.
They like it, it is nutritional!
The other day I made it and poured balsamic vinegar/olive oil/ dried peppers dressing over it for my son. Not to forget my daughter, I carefully layered some tofutti fake plastic cheese slices over the top of my daughter’s.
Okay, I would so like not be invited.
But, my cheese toast is pretty darn spectacular and I make a mean bowl of red berries special k.
Don’t report me.
November 11th, 2005 at 10:38 pm
That sounds like a great party! And I have to tell you, I love the story of you and Noah’s showdown– made me feel better about the showdown my girl L and I had over dinner tonight!
November 12th, 2005 at 12:28 am
I put this up on annother blogger’s website but I’ll share it with you too. It’s super easy and it’s fairly kid friendly.
Papa Al Pomodoro (tomato bread soup)
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil,
4 to 6 cloves garlic, chopped
1 medium to large onion, finely chopped
1 (15-ounce) can diced tomatoes
1 (28-ounce) can crushed tomatoes
Salt and pepper
1 quart chicken stock
4 cups, about 1/2 pound, chopped or torn stale bread (I used day old french bread)
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese
Heat a medium soup pot over medium heat. Add 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, garlic and the onion. Cook 7 to 8 minutes, then add tomatoes and crushed tomatoes and season with salt and pepper. Add stock and raise heat to make the soup bubble. Reduce heat to simmer and add bread and beans. Stir soup as it simmers until it thickens to a stew-like consistency. Turn off heat, adjust seasonings and ladle into shallow bowls. Top off with parmesan cheese. Also fresh basil makes a good garnish. Serves about 4
November 12th, 2005 at 11:49 am
Oh, more, more, more! on Noah’s “plight” and how you deal with it. Steven & I are really struggling - I’ve wondered about school (but I would never get to shower!) and I need ideas on how to let him feel more connected . . .
November 13th, 2005 at 12:29 pm
Oh my Maude,
I can’t believe I know one of your fellow bloggers in real life–Hi Melanie (I’ll be in p-town on Dec. 9).
This is often my reality even without a toddler underfoot. Elliott and I often clash over my will versus his.
In the meantime, the party sounds fabulous. I’d bring my new favorite 15 minute dish–farfalle with black bean and tomatoes. It meets all my requirements: fast, inexpensive, vegetarian (or vegan, your choice) and we aren’t sick of it yet!
Paige
November 13th, 2005 at 4:21 pm
was noah excited about leading part of services? my older daughter is old enough to lead part now, but is hesitant. too shy maybe? but anyway, we’re trying to teach her the part well, so that she can be more confident if she decides she wants to do it.