What are your thoughts?
Just received this in my inbox and the sender said it was ok to open it up on my blog:
A close friend of ours has a daughter that is now pregnant with #2. My friends are raising her first child, a daughter. She is considering creating an adoption plan for #2. My friends do not want to raise another child. The bio father is in jail for beating up their daughter and breaking her nose. She has a restraining order and will not put his name on baby #2’s birth certificate. All that saga aside…I have a feeling that she may ask us to parent this child. I would be overjoyed to adopt this baby but, BUT, it would be so weird with my friends, don’t you think? Can someone be too close in an open adoption?
I’ll put my response below the cut in case you want to comment and read what I said afterwards.
I said: “Personally if we were in the situation of your friends who aren’t ready to parent that child, I would really want access to the sibling for my child. So I would think that even though it might be hard (and surely it would be hard), I would want someone close to me to adopt that child. It could get sticky but what an opportunity!!! The bio siblings could grow up like cousins — seeing each other or at least keeping in touch. That would be great as they got older and might need each other.”
I do know that J, if faced with another crisis pregnancy, would be very likely to parent should she continue the pregnancy. In fact, I’d stake my life on it. But I hope that J isn’t ever faced with that situation again. Too, too hard.
if i were ever faced with that decision again, i know i couldn’t go through with another adoption plan. depending on the circumstance i’d certainly either abort or choose to parent.
Wow. I don’t know what I’d do in that situation, but it does seem a little too close for comfort. Who knows though, it may be great.
Eerily, it sounds almost exactly like the situation with one of the Colorado potential bmoms we had.
I’ve never adopted or been a birth mother, so I don’t know how I’d feel, but if the mother is definitely going to allow her baby to be adopted, and it is a done deal, I would think that the siblings being close would be a good thing. I’d be happy if my child had siblings nearby. But again, having never been in the situation, its hard to say.
How old is the expectant mother???? I think she should keep her kids together. That is a no-brainer. Her parents should help but not raise them.
What makes you say that about J? Do you think she regrets her decision or do you just think it’s too hard to do twice, or is J getting to a place where she’d feel more confident about parenting, or what?
Just curious, but if it’s too much of J’s business, don’t answer.