Yes another adoption post
Chanie sent me this NYT article: Law Backfires, Stranding Orphans in Romania
I know very, very little about international adoption and like I said, I originally thought that domestic adoption would be ethically easier. For one, I kinda bought into the Lifetime movie approach to the miracle of adoption (despite reading a lot of birth mom stories — it’s different when you decide to adopt and then read their stories) and also I didn’t really know what to do with the whole “child trafficking” accusations.
–Robbing the Cradle: Adoptions under fire in Guatemala
–Baby Laundering: Where do babies come from?
–Adoption: Probe reveals more shady deals
(All of these articles are featured on a very useful web site, Cambodia Adoption Issues)
I would read articles like that and think, “Oh god, I don’t know where to begin!” Besides being overwhelmed with trying to figure out how to find an ethical agency and how to make sure I was adopting from a country that wasn’t contributing to black market adoption, I worried that international adoption was colonialism at its worst.
I’ve changed my mind on that.
Holding international adopters responsible for the inequities of international adoption is the same thing as holding me personally responsible for the inequities of domestic adoption. Our responsibilities are more subtle.
I think we all can agree that the world be a much nicer place if adoption was unnecessary. Now I’m not talking about getting rid of infertility (although that would be absolutely swell and I totally have my order in to god on that); I’m talking about eliminating the ready supply of children who need families. But how realistic is that? We could write to lots of officials and protest at their embassies but still there would be children who needed homes. Besides, which is worse? Going in and adopting abandoned children or going in and enforcing our values on countries whose policies we don’t understand? As Stessa writes, “For me as a parent of a child born in another country, this kind of thinking is “first world” or developed world logic that cannot automagically be applied to developing countries.” (The link is part of her quote)
What we as adopters are responsible for is, as I’ve written, being as ethical as possible. Adopting brings responsibilities that go above and beyond mere parenting. Now see, that’s what I think is so great about adoption; it’s such an opportunity to become more aware! To explore compassion! To confront prejudices!
There are some fabulous bloggers talking about adoption issues in international adoptions, like Amber’s important Chi ku — To Eat Bitterness/To suffer series and grrlTravels lists. Also, Reframing the Difference: What is Adoption? from Brave Boots.
Other sites:
Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Insitute
Ethica: A Voice for Ethical Adoption
National Center for Adoption Law and Policy (hey! This is in Columbus!)
Ok, Brett is harping at me to get off the computer but my next entries will be more about why adoption is good since I’m talking an awful lot about how adoption can be not so good. I think I’m being too discouraging, which is not my intention.
I don’t think you’re being at all discouraging! I think adoption is a minefield of potential abuses, and we all must be aware of the issues and deeply consider them before adopting. But by all means, I’d love to hear about the good stuff, too!