Comments on: Questions questions questions http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2005/06/21/questions-questions-questions/ writing, mothering, writing about mothering Mon, 06 Oct 2008 22:35:32 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc By: Elizabeth http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2005/06/21/questions-questions-questions/#comment-1184 Elizabeth Wed, 22 Jun 2005 12:00:54 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=565#comment-1184 Kids' personalities play into this as well. My older son (D -- 4 1/2) since he was a baby has always wanted to be the center of attention. Even if he's playing by himself, he wants us in the room and preferably watching him, and he really wants us to play out all the characters in the stories he's spinning. My younger son (N -- 20 months) is much more able to entertain himself than D ever was at that age (although we need to keep an eye on him, because he's likely to draw on his legs or find something dangerous to chew on). Some of that may be related to birth order, and the fact that N *couldn't* have our undivided attention the way D did at his age. Kids’ personalities play into this as well. My older son (D — 4 1/2) since he was a baby has always wanted to be the center of attention. Even if he’s playing by himself, he wants us in the room and preferably watching him, and he really wants us to play out all the characters in the stories he’s spinning. My younger son (N — 20 months) is much more able to entertain himself than D ever was at that age (although we need to keep an eye on him, because he’s likely to draw on his legs or find something dangerous to chew on).

Some of that may be related to birth order, and the fact that N *couldn’t* have our undivided attention the way D did at his age.

]]> By: suzoz http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2005/06/21/questions-questions-questions/#comment-1183 suzoz Wed, 22 Jun 2005 04:42:31 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=565#comment-1183 I've never played with my child - I really mean never. Apart from doing the odd jigsaw puzzle with him. And of course I have read to him a great deal. Gone on walks with him and swum with him. That's about it. As far as playing at home goes, he's been completely on his own, while we adults are nearby doing our own thing. I'm someone who doesn't feel comfortable playing at a young child's level. So I haven't tried to. He has an incredible imagination and is very content playing by himself. I have seen kids who are very dependent on their mothers to direct and participate in their play. I’ve never played with my child - I really mean never. Apart from doing the odd jigsaw puzzle with him. And of course I have read to him a great deal. Gone on walks with him and swum with him. That’s about it. As far as playing at home goes, he’s been completely on his own, while we adults are nearby doing our own thing. I’m someone who doesn’t feel comfortable playing at a young child’s level. So I haven’t tried to.
He has an incredible imagination and is very content playing by himself. I have seen kids who are very dependent on their mothers to direct and participate in their play.

]]> By: bj http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2005/06/21/questions-questions-questions/#comment-1182 bj Wed, 22 Jun 2005 00:43:58 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=565#comment-1182 Yes, yes, it is purple aster, the flower. I tried all the other combinations of colors and flowers before that one worked. Most people read purple-easter (which is a bit annoying for an adamantly non-christian person). I loved time for myself as a child, and one of the hardest things about motherhood for me has been how much of that you have to give up. I hope my kids are going to learn how to amuse themselves, but they show definite trends of wanting extreme involvement right now. We're working on it. Anyone else watch "Recess." It's a disney, and thus has all the flaws there in. But, I love the idea of an environment (recess) controlled by kids, who have their own rules, king, play, trials and tribulations, and exist independentally of adults. Kids do find time for themselves like that, even when they are supervised. bj bj Yes, yes, it is purple aster, the flower. I tried all the other combinations of colors and flowers before that one worked. Most people read purple-easter (which is a bit annoying for an adamantly non-christian person).

I loved time for myself as a child, and one of the hardest things about motherhood for me has been how much of that you have to give up. I hope my kids are going to learn how to amuse themselves, but they show definite trends of wanting extreme involvement right now. We’re working on it.

Anyone else watch “Recess.” It’s a disney, and thus has all the flaws there in. But, I love the idea of an environment (recess) controlled by kids, who have their own rules, king, play, trials and tribulations, and exist independentally of adults. Kids do find time for themselves like that, even when they are supervised.

bj
bj

]]> By: halloweenlover http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2005/06/21/questions-questions-questions/#comment-1181 halloweenlover Tue, 21 Jun 2005 22:59:38 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=565#comment-1181 I have thought this so many times, but you put it into words so much better than I could, Dawn. I see lots of friends and families playing constantly with their kids or scheduling them in 15 minute intervals and now they don't know how to play alone! I distinctly remember playing in my room with dolls or cars or whatever struck my fancy and I wanted to be alone, because alone my imagination could run wild. Your stories always make me smile. I have thought this so many times, but you put it into words so much better than I could, Dawn. I see lots of friends and families playing constantly with their kids or scheduling them in 15 minute intervals and now they don’t know how to play alone! I distinctly remember playing in my room with dolls or cars or whatever struck my fancy and I wanted to be alone, because alone my imagination could run wild. Your stories always make me smile.

]]> By: mowse http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2005/06/21/questions-questions-questions/#comment-1180 mowse Tue, 21 Jun 2005 22:01:44 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=565#comment-1180 i so agree with you about just letting the kids play. for me, when i am involved directly in playing with the kids, i feel like i'm directing too much of it. I am very into lowtech/low budget parenting. kids don't really need to have every hour of their days micromanaged and crammed with activities. what they DO need, is freedom just to be kids! my children love playing with each other, but when they want to spend time with me, they always ask to do what i'm doing: cleaning, cooking, reading. My job as an adult is to model behavior and to teach them how to be kind and loving, but also to function on their own. Have you noticed how much less expensive this type of parenting is, too? i so agree with you about just letting the kids play. for me, when i am involved directly in playing with the kids, i feel like i’m directing too much of it. I am very into lowtech/low budget parenting. kids don’t really need to have every hour of their days micromanaged and crammed with activities. what they DO need, is freedom just to be kids! my children love playing with each other, but when they want to spend time with me, they always ask to do what i’m doing: cleaning, cooking, reading. My job as an adult is to model behavior and to teach them how to be kind and loving, but also to function on their own. Have you noticed how much less expensive this type of parenting is, too?

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