Comments on: It’s going around

By: susoz

susoz — Fri, 17 Jun 2005 07:28:17 +0000

There’s a storybook called ‘Lucy Goes to the Country’ which my son likes - it’s about a cat called Lucy who lives with two guys (a couple) - the plot is all about Lucy but her Big Guys are there in the background being normal (gay) people.

By: Bacchus

Bacchus — Fri, 17 Jun 2005 06:51:12 +0000

Thank you for this great entry. I have to say while my parents would never have thought about one of us being gay, they did a lot to let me know it was ok ( even if they didn’t realise it). I never heard “when you grow up to marry a woman” I was told ” When you find someone you love and want to spend your life together, then you’ll get married”. They also made sure we knew, no matter what we did in life they would love us. I know they didn’t think i would be gay, but it always stuck out in the back of my mind that they would be there.

Just let your kids know you love them and support them in life no matter what. Live your life of tolerance, kindness and compassion. Kids are amazing at filling in the pieces.

By: buddhabelly

buddhabelly — Thu, 16 Jun 2005 18:01:26 +0000

When I was 5 years old there were two women who lived next door to us. I thought they were the cats pajamas just cuz they liked kids and didn’t run us out of the yard if we went into it after a stray ball like another neighbor would. When they busted out the sparklers on the 4th of July I was thrilled.

I remember it was this couple being run through the gossip mill in an unkindly fashion at our kitchen table. I didn’t know what words like lesbian and queer meant at the time but apparently the woman having coffee with my mom had something against these two women. I heard her clearly say something along the lines of how they were good people and what business was it of hers, the nature of their relationship. They WERE good people. I cried when they moved out.

My point is … hearing my mother validate those women next door made it a little easier for me to realize who I was. Made it a little bit easier to come out to her. Society “norms” are so hetero oriented that even without the hate remarks and bad queer oriented jokes it’s impossible to get the “it’s OK” message across without actually saying so.

I didn’t realize they were lesbians when I was 5, but I sure put it all together when I was coming out. Moments after coming out to my mother I asked her about P and J next door when I was 5. She was incredulous that I’d figured out they were gay. I still can’t explain gaydar to her, not for lack of trying. I also asked her about an “Aunt” who was around at family gatherings until I was 10 or so. She grew up with my mother in the same foster home. Bingo another lesbian who was great with kids. Again Mom was incredulous. *shrug*

I could bitch moan and gripe for days about how my mom screwed up.. but then I must remind myself that she did get some things right.

By: sandra

sandra — Thu, 16 Jun 2005 05:04:35 +0000

I’m having a little bit of trouble grasping all of this. I know, I know, I should just shut up and leave. I will probably make an enemy or two. But I guess I don’t see the harm in saying “when you grow up and fall in love with a man” to my daughter when that is what is LIKELY to happen. If she happens to discover that she is gay, that’s all right with me, but sheer odds say that she’s not LIKELY to be. If my kids ask me about homosexuality I will do my best to explain it to them as lovingly and truthfully as possible, but I see no need to bring it up while they are children unless it’s already a part of their life (a good friend or family member who is gay and has a visible partner, for example).

I wish I could think of a good analogy for this but I am brain-dead right now.

Running away to hide.

By: shannon

shannon — Thu, 16 Jun 2005 03:22:34 +0000

And anyway, how CUTE is that new penguin book???