Could you guys please…
…ask me some questions? I’m tired and that’s making me lazy plus I have work stuff occupying my head. I wrote on Chicagomama’s blog that I don’t mind questions — I like them. And answering them makes me think. So is there anything you want to know about our visit? I need to be respectful, too, of the family’s privacy but is there anything I should be talking about and I’m not?
Did you get any hair feedback?
Did it take you a while to get comfortable with everyone? And did you notice that male/females of the family treated you differently?
I’d like to know if you and J. had any discussions about your/her feelings about the “impact of her decisions” or any heart to hearts about continuing on the course of the same open arrangement based on this visit.
What will contact be with the rest of the family? Grandpa? Direct or through J?
Did Madison get more comfortable with J?
Dawn, this is a bit of a random comment, but I was thrilled to hear that Noah is also a fan of Playmobil. I hear you on their lack of diversity- the snake charmer and AmIndians make their way into sets their outfits definitely do not match. As an aside- if you look in the catalogue’s airport page, the only person of color in the picture (an Asian figure) is being screened at the security checkpoint!
Hey! It was only as an adult that I caught Ma’s reference, too.
But, you know, that last book was the only one pretty much lifted verbatim from Laura’s journals and drafts - Rose didn’t touch it.
Dawn, I’ve really appreciated all the posts you’ve been putting up about this. You’ve given me so much to think about. Thanks.
I do have a few questions, not so much about the trip, though. First, and I hope this doesn’t come out wrong, but where is Brett on some of these issues? Does he feel differently about the birth father than you do about J? How much of that is about fathering, and how much is about Madison’s particular birth father? What, if anything, has your experience with Madison’s birth families (especially given that you don’t have any contact with her birth father) taught you about how we in the USA think about mothers and fathers? Or is it unfair in the extreme to generalize in that way?
I know those are huge issues, and I know some of these stories aren’t yours to tell, but these are some of the questions that have been percolating for me over the months that I’ve been reading. I can’t tell if Brett’s story is just not your story, or if his feelings are a lot different than yours, or what. I can’t tell if it’s just harder to deal with the “two moms” dynamic of adoption in our society than the two dads issue. I hope this isn’t coming out wrong.
Also, totally unrelated, but I actually found you in the long-ago through something about Noah and homeschooling. How’s that going? Do you mark, in your mind or formally, the arrival of summer? How are you feeling about the last year of school? I’d love an update about that stuff, it’s so much fun to hear you talk about it.
And of course I’m curious about your writing and professional stuff, too. Don’t want you to think that my curiousity is only focused on the mom part of your life!