Tuesday morning
Every morning Madison climbs into this old chair that lost it’s slipcover to a baby disaster and is now leaking fluff and she reads a book. Her favorite book is this one, Fuzzy Fuzzy Fuzzy, but Tickle Tickle (by Helen Oxenbury) is a close second.
She does this because this is what her brother does. Sometimes if he beats her to this chair, (which is rare because she gets up as soon as the sun does and he tends to sleep until at least 8am) she’ll climb up, too, and crowd him out with her big, board books. If she’s lucky, he’ll give in and read to her.
For awhile, I was hanging over Noah and barking at him every time he was less than kind to the baby.
“Stop pushing her! She didn’t mean to hit you — she’s just a baby! Give her that toy back!” But then one day I watched them grappling over something (probably she seized the chance to steal one of his forbidden robots) and saw him — yes, less than gentle but holding in his strength and saw her standing with her feet apart, mouth open roaring and realized that she didn’t need my help.
I guess I had it in my head that Noah looked like a short grown-up to her but as I see her go toe to toe with him, I understand that she knows he’s a kid and she can handle it. But also that conflict is part of their deal.
I have a younger brother and an older sister. I know from siblinghood but the age range between these two threw me. I was expecting Noah to be more mature and her to be more helpless. Now that I’m out of the way more, it turns out that it’s easier for them to get along, too.
These are some of the games they play.
Godzilla vs. King Kong
Noah is Godzilla and Madison is King Kong. Noah builds a block city and then unleashes the baby. Sometimes he takes digital shots of their destruction so that afterwards he can tell me the whole story start to finish.
Bodyslam Disaster
Noah lies comfortably on the floor reading a book. Madison trundles over and flops on him. She repeats until she gets the desired reaction — namely a brother who will wrestle with her.
Escape with Brother’s Toys
Madison stares at Noah until he notices that she’s about to grab something important to him — a book, a toy, his food. Once she has his attention she races off. He goes screaming after her. Repeat until mommy’s head explodes.
This is a good age range. It has a lot of advantages and few disadvantages. True, sometimes I feel schizophrenic trying to care for two distinct generations but I would say that the good outweighs the bad. Here’s my list of good:
–No worries that Madison is hogging all of the laptime leaving Noah bereft;
–Handy son to help carry baby paraphernalia;
–Handy son to fetch and carry diapers, wipes, bottles, etc.;
–Large child finds small child adorable, adding to his tolerance.
in truth, one big reason i decided to place jonathan for adoption was that having a brother seemed like such a key part of my upbringing, and i was sure that i was not going to be in a position to provide him with a sibling anytime soon, if ever. seeing him grow up with his little sister makes me glad that he has this in his life.
and incidentally, today’s his birthday! five sure seems old.
Yeah, as my son has gotten older (now 22 months), I’m definitely letting him and his big sister work things out a lot more. My current refrain? “if there’s no blood, quit screaming and work it out yourselves.”
My kids are eight years apart and I like the gap. However, what’s been really hard on my youngest is that around the time her brother turned eleven and a half, she stopped being his favorite distraction. She always considered him and his best friend to be her best friends. Now they are 12, they have private, IMPROTANT things to discuss, and they don’t want “that baby” bothering them. It really was hearbreaking for awhile. She felt so sad, but I also felt like my son had every right to not want a three (now 4) year old in the middle of his pre-teen conversations. I’ve worked hard to find new non-brother activities and friends for my girl, and she’s back to her happy self. Also, now that she doesn’t follow him around like a lost puppy, he’s decided he’s not too old to play with her now and then.
I love my girls’ age difference too! (A month shy of 6 years) They interact and get along much better than I ever thought they would! It’s really great.
So cute!
I wonder if there is some sort of universal toddler rulebook with the explicit instructions for Bodyslam and Escape — because Li plays them the Exact. Same. Way. Heh.
Thanks for the giggles this afternoon. Reminds me of my brothers, sister and I growing up.
i really enjoy reading about your family dynamic with a larger sibling age gap: my girl will be almost 7 when #2 is set to arrive. i’ll admit to mourning over the loss of this arbitrary ideal i had programmed in my head, that siblings do best when they’re but a few short years apart. but the more i think about it, the more i read, the more i realize that every family is different and certainly age gaps have advantages that i never even considered before.
Very persuasive, Dawn. You are sneaky, sneaky, sneaky.
And that book with little hands and feet sticking out is too cute for words.
I cannot believe how Madison has grown. Noah too. I could cry they’re both so gorgeous.
I find myself watching my son and daughter roughhousing together… thinking my daughter is just a little baby - and fragile. Then she growls, pounces on my son and fiercly attacks him while squealing in delight - dishing out as good as she gets.
Yeah. I think she’ll survive.
It’s amazing how fierce the little sisters can be when there’s a big brother to keep up with.
Every time you write something positive about Noah and Madison’s age gap it makes me happy. Unless I get pregnant this month Liam will be (at least) four by the time he gets a sibling, which is obviously a bigger gap than I had planned. But the fact that Noah and Madison seem to get along so well with a much larger gap than that - also true of some of the other commenters - takes a very little bit of the pressure off.