Comments on: WEG’s mommy is brilliant! http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2005/05/18/wegs-mommy-is-brilliant/ writing, mothering, writing about mothering Sat, 11 Oct 2008 22:34:33 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc By: LisaV http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2005/05/18/wegs-mommy-is-brilliant/#comment-13066 LisaV Thu, 19 May 2005 02:40:06 +0000 http://thiswomanswork.com/?p=1552#comment-13066 More- You know sometimes I will "give" (not the right word) maybe "transfer" emotions on to N because they are what I feel, and I assume she feels the same way - mother to mother. I honestly don't know how she views herself in some of these situations. More-
You know sometimes I will “give” (not the right word) maybe “transfer” emotions on to N because they are what I feel, and I assume she feels the same way - mother to mother. I honestly don’t know how she views herself in some of these situations.

]]> By: LisaV http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2005/05/18/wegs-mommy-is-brilliant/#comment-13065 LisaV Thu, 19 May 2005 02:33:07 +0000 http://thiswomanswork.com/?p=1552#comment-13065 I don't know. I think I alway identified with their grief and pain. Even thought I had never experienced birth or placing a baby, I felt like I had pretty good empathy for it. I actually thinking my pregnancy losses were more in tuned with what I imagined N was going through. Emotions and hormones making you long for this baby that was no longer yours. Mallory was so firmly mine by the time I gave birth that most of the emotional hindsight is 20/20 was lost on me. If anything, adopting Mallory made giving birth to Aubree less significant. It became an event more about me, and less about becoming a parent. Does that make sense? It's like Aubree was completely seperate from my pregnancy and birth experience. On the other hand I still think N's pregnancy and the birth and adoption are still tied up in Mallory for me. More so than my birth children. Maybe adoption removed me on some level from being wrapped up in birth. I would like to know if there are differences for birthmoms in children they placed and children they parented. I don’t know. I think I alway identified with their grief and pain. Even thought I had never experienced birth or placing a baby, I felt like I had pretty good empathy for it. I actually thinking my pregnancy losses were more in tuned with what I imagined N was going through. Emotions and hormones making you long for this baby that was no longer yours.

Mallory was so firmly mine by the time I gave birth that most of the emotional hindsight is 20/20 was lost on me. If anything, adopting Mallory made giving birth to Aubree less significant. It became an event more about me, and less about becoming a parent. Does that make sense? It’s like Aubree was completely seperate from my pregnancy and birth experience. On the other hand I still think N’s pregnancy and the birth and adoption are still tied up in Mallory for me. More so than my birth children. Maybe adoption removed me on some level from being wrapped up in birth.

I would like to know if there are differences for birthmoms in children they placed and children they parented.

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