2. hmmm….I don’t think that explaining race to Madison as construct (when she’s old enough to get that idea) is like telling Noah his Judaism is definined by the holocaust. Well, anyway, there are positive events and people related to fighting against the holocausts of the Nazis and of American Slavery that offer more uplifting and identity-affirming ways to spin it. Or is that not what you meant?

3. That quote about many “Americans” thinking racism is over–ha! Dude means WHITE Americans. It’s so annoying, but in this country, white kids go to nearly all-white schools and celebrate Black History Month where they learn that racism is over. Then they show up in my freshman comp classes and deal with all the stuff I teach about racism not being over by writing papers that end “but really, racism is over or anyhow, nearly over and the passage of time will miraculously make everything better. Hurrah for America where everyone is free!”

sigh.

I’ve been conflicted about this very issue– I feel like there was a big color-blind push during my childhood and it’s ingrained so I want to believe, but have been realizing more and more that it doesn’t work. It denies the fact that someone is having a different experience solely based on the color of thier skin. So I had my own little epiphany, but it’s wonderful to hear it from someone else (especially someone who’s so inteligent!).

And I have no idea what to say to Steven about it. I remember the first time he referred to someone’s color, he said “my brown friend” and I cringed. I wanted to cover his mouth. And he said something to a cashier about her skin color, and I wanted to crawl in a hole. Because we aren’t supposed to see skin color. But it’s there– their skin is brown, for Steven to see that is normal and he makes no comment on their character when he notices someone’s skin color. I can’t wait for the day when I either know what I want to say to him about it, or he’s old enough for me to explain my confusion and able to find his own way.

Either way, I feel extremely comforted that you’re thinking about it. ;o)

I’m caucasian, and I was raised in a fairly homegeneous setting, but have chosen to live in a diverse neighborhood as an adult. It means I have to face my own racism every day, when I automatically think stupid things (such as having a moment of surprise when a young AA man who is dressed in a certain way is very well-spoken), and I spend a lot of time berating myself. But I’m so pleased that my daughter will grow up knowing that there are a lots of different kinds of people and lifestyles, instead of growing up like I did.

It drives me mental when well intentioned people tell me that they are colour blind, or that they don’t see me as black - because in failing to do so, they fail to acknowledge some of the struggles that are a part of my reality (not that my struggles are all that hard or numerous, I have not had the issues with racism that I might have had a generation ago, but I’ve still had to deal with it none-the-less).

All of that being said, I think the intention behind colour blindness is good, but I’m hoping that by the time my children have grown, society will have moved more to a level of neutral observation and acknowledgement of race, without any judgment or attempts to extrapolate generalisations about said races.

As for the hair thing, I wrote a rather lengthy response earlier, and then deleted it by accident. I recently cut off my shoulder length chemically straightened hair. I basically had the “holy grail” of black hair - swingy, healthy, and long. Supposedly, it was “good hair”. What I have come to realize is that I hate - no, I loathe - no, I despise with every fibre of my being, the phrase “good hair” and everything it stands for. So I cut it all off about six months ago, and I have learned to care for and style my hair in its natural state. It hadn’t been in its natural state for twenty two years (since I was seven).

Good for you, in taking the time to understand this issue. I don’t think that the hair issue isn’t particularly a big deal in and of itself. I think it becomes one when it’s tied to self-esteem issues, and ideas about beauty that do not include African attributes. For a child raised in a home with images of beauty that reflects her, and where self acceptance of her entire physical package is encouraged, then perhaps the hair issue isn’t that big of a deal. But this, like most things, doesn’t happen by accident, the environment has to be deliberately fostered - so I think you’re definitely on the right track.