Why I was a sociology major
May 10, 2005 Adoption, Feminism/Politics
The topic for this week, apparently, is Dawn is frustrated by white people who deny that race is an issue. First there were my fruitless hair debates and then I found this discussion on Boomerific’s blog.
I’m an amateur sociologist at heart and so I roll my eyes when people start telling me to stop making such a fuss ‘cuz love sees no color. Maybe love doesn’t but the rest of us do.
In August 2002, the American Sociological Association took a stand against such attempts to abolish “race” as untrue and irrelevant. In a statement, the professional society urged social scientists not to ignore race classifications or stop using them as a research tool, even though they may be biological fiction. “Those who favor ignoring race as an explicit administrative matter, in the hope that it will cease to exist as a social concept, ignore the weight of a vast body of sociological research that shows that racial hierarchies are embedded in the routine practices of social groups and institutions,” the society wrote.
From Colorblind Racism
Race is a social construct. As such, it isn’t “true” because there is no biological basis for dividing human beings up by race. Race is just something we all made up and collectively we make it so. Social constructs have their own truth — witness our worldly obsession with gender (also a social construct). Besides to deny the existence of race is to deny the existence of racism, which is ludicrous.
I’ve decided that a rigid, unedifying color blindness cannot reign in my house. It is by taking note of race and all that accompanies it — the assumptions, the stereotypes flying to and fro like flaming arrows — that we can achieve a transcendental compassion, a unifying respect for the power of experience. People are people, there’s no doubt about it, but you have to understand why things are the way they are. Not to take note of race or, more important, discuss it, would leave my sons in the dark. They must know where they stand and what to look out for, welcoming the surprise of those who reject the rules attached to skin color because to cleave to them would frustrate their inner truth. Luckily for my children, those rules are eroding, but they will endure if not consciously challenged.
You see, it’s a liberal ideal — one held by people of varying colors and hues — to think that we can ignore the social construct of race and thus dismantle it; this is too simplified.
In America, more African American men are in prison than in college. People still get pulled over for Driving While Black. Racism, sadly, is not dead yet.
Many Americans believe racism has all but disappeared, and that we live in a truly colorblind society. Yet people of color lag behind whites in almost all social indicators. They are poorer, less educated, and have less access to health care. If race has become largely irrelevant–and racists are few and far between–how can these conditions persist?
from a blurb for the book Racism without Racists: Color-Blind Racism and the Persistence of Racial Inequality in the United States
This presents an interesting dilemma. How do we talk to our children about race without making it all about racism? To tell Madison about her African American heritage only in the context of the social construction of race is a little like telling Noah that what makes him Jewish is the holocaust. You see, there is the truth of Madison’s brown skin and her dark eyes and her curly hair and then there is the social truth of her race. They are separate but also deeply entwined.
Sure, we can say that in our home, color doesn’t matter but sooner or later our kids have to leave the house where race most certainly matters.
That’s the great injury of race — it is not rational. It does matter, and yet it shouldn’t. And yet it does. … I have not found a sensible way to talk about race to my son. I do not want to poison him with the kinds of demarcations that would most effectively explain what racism is. Racism means that certain people don’t like you. I guess my concern is that most children, black children in particular, understand the negative consequences of race before they have words to understand the great complexity of what’s embodied in its history. It’s a little bit like wondering how you explain war to a child.
from Seeing A Colorblind Future
I’m not telling people that there’s only one right way to handle the issue of race with their children but I will say that I know that pretending race doesn’t exist is just foolish. How else do we explain all that racism? How else do we explain white privilege? It would be easy for me to say that there’s no such thing as race, seeing as how I’m sitting in the catbird seat.
So don’t you tell anyone they’re making a big deal out of nothing when they fret about transracial adoption. Don’t you say, “perhaps your worry gives credence to the very beliefs about which you worry.” Ignorance is not bliss, trust me. Especially not when it comes to raising kids.
May 10th, 2005 at 6:49 pm
You know I know there are all sorts of ways I am racist, some of them probably subliminal. Last week I made a reference about Chaka Kahn at school, and the only kid who got it was the sole black girl. I thought to myself “of course Sarah got it, she is black.” Completely racist.
About 3 months before Mallory was born we were told we were in the running for a AA newborn. We were one of 2 couples out of 70 that would even consider a child of color. The other couple was chosen. They already had a biracial child. We spent 48 hours wondering if we were really ready to raise a child of another race. We decided if chosen, we would embrace it and try to become a part of the small AA community here. I was really worried if they would accept me and my child. I knew I would deal with whatever my own race dished out, but I didn’t know how to navigate that community. I think you have to acknowlege race to really work through society’s hang-ups about it.
May 10th, 2005 at 6:53 pm
You know, on the hair thing? I’ve been meaning to respond for several posts now, but keep getting distracted by something shiny.
I think you’re doing a really good thing by trying to learn about her hair. AA hair *is* different and it does require a certain routine of care. Not AA, but still I have very frizzy curly hair and let me tell you, I had to educate myself about it and it was years of misery and teasing until I did. And my self esteem was in the toilet. If I’d known how to care for my hair or my parents had helped me, I could have avoided a lot of unhappiness.
Even reducing the issue to one of purely self esteem, you’re doing the right thing for your child. You are learning to care for her unique needs. And yes, her unique needs are in part dictated by her skin and her hair, just like they are dictated also by her personality and her physiology, race and any number of other factors. So you’re meeting those. You’re treating her like a WHOLE being.
Bravo to you, mama.
May 10th, 2005 at 8:07 pm
What a great post, Dawn. Sometimes I think white Americans are quick to say they don’t ’see color’ because they don’t - they don’t see their own.
That, I think, is an advantage. Feel it - if I say I’m a woman, or black, or I’m 49 years old, all kinds of associatations, assumptions, preconceived ideas jump into your mind. If I say I’m a person or a human being - clean slate, no limits.
That’s one of the advantages white people have in this country. They don’t think of themselves as white, they think of themselves as people.
As for being ‘color blind’ when it comes to seeing the rest of us? Tell them I’m holding an eyewear give away at my house this Wednesday.
May 10th, 2005 at 8:21 pm
just excellent. plain and simply excellent post.
May 10th, 2005 at 8:45 pm
Tuesday’s Toutings
Get thee over to This Woman’s Work and read Dawn’s latest entries…
May 10th, 2005 at 8:45 pm
Tuesday’s Toutings
Get thee over to This Woman’s Work and read Dawn’s latest entries…
May 10th, 2005 at 8:45 pm
Tuesday’s Toutings
Get thee over to This Woman’s Work and read Dawn’s latest entries…
May 10th, 2005 at 8:45 pm
Tuesday’s Toutings
Get thee over to This Woman’s Work and read Dawn’s latest entries…
May 11th, 2005 at 1:08 am
You know, this is so true - what a great post.
It drives me mental when well intentioned people tell me that they are colour blind, or that they don’t see me as black - because in failing to do so, they fail to acknowledge some of the struggles that are a part of my reality (not that my struggles are all that hard or numerous, I have not had the issues with racism that I might have had a generation ago, but I’ve still had to deal with it none-the-less).
All of that being said, I think the intention behind colour blindness is good, but I’m hoping that by the time my children have grown, society will have moved more to a level of neutral observation and acknowledgement of race, without any judgment or attempts to extrapolate generalisations about said races.
As for the hair thing, I wrote a rather lengthy response earlier, and then deleted it by accident. I recently cut off my shoulder length chemically straightened hair. I basically had the “holy grail” of black hair - swingy, healthy, and long. Supposedly, it was “good hair”. What I have come to realize is that I hate - no, I loathe - no, I despise with every fibre of my being, the phrase “good hair” and everything it stands for. So I cut it all off about six months ago, and I have learned to care for and style my hair in its natural state. It hadn’t been in its natural state for twenty two years (since I was seven).
Good for you, in taking the time to understand this issue. I don’t think that the hair issue isn’t particularly a big deal in and of itself. I think it becomes one when it’s tied to self-esteem issues, and ideas about beauty that do not include African attributes. For a child raised in a home with images of beauty that reflects her, and where self acceptance of her entire physical package is encouraged, then perhaps the hair issue isn’t that big of a deal. But this, like most things, doesn’t happen by accident, the environment has to be deliberately fostered - so I think you’re definitely on the right track.
May 11th, 2005 at 3:01 am
I’m so glad you decided to revive your blog after the first few months with Madison. I really appreciate what you say about these issues. For instance, I had a mandated unemployment (Worksource) class last week, and I whiled away the time by thinking about the significance of everyone’s hair (not just the AA people). I didn’t draw any hard and fast conclusions, because I don’t know enough to do that, but it got me thinking.
I’m caucasian, and I was raised in a fairly homegeneous setting, but have chosen to live in a diverse neighborhood as an adult. It means I have to face my own racism every day, when I automatically think stupid things (such as having a moment of surprise when a young AA man who is dressed in a certain way is very well-spoken), and I spend a lot of time berating myself. But I’m so pleased that my daughter will grow up knowing that there are a lots of different kinds of people and lifestyles, instead of growing up like I did.
May 11th, 2005 at 9:35 am
Thank you.
I’ve been conflicted about this very issue– I feel like there was a big color-blind push during my childhood and it’s ingrained so I want to believe, but have been realizing more and more that it doesn’t work. It denies the fact that someone is having a different experience solely based on the color of thier skin. So I had my own little epiphany, but it’s wonderful to hear it from someone else (especially someone who’s so inteligent!).
And I have no idea what to say to Steven about it. I remember the first time he referred to someone’s color, he said “my brown friend” and I cringed. I wanted to cover his mouth. And he said something to a cashier about her skin color, and I wanted to crawl in a hole. Because we aren’t supposed to see skin color. But it’s there– their skin is brown, for Steven to see that is normal and he makes no comment on their character when he notices someone’s skin color. I can’t wait for the day when I either know what I want to say to him about it, or he’s old enough for me to explain my confusion and able to find his own way.
Either way, I feel extremely comforted that you’re thinking about it. ;o)
May 11th, 2005 at 2:39 pm
This is a great conversation– I’ve been teaching about racism and privilege in different ways in my classes for five years now, and I learn new things every time. More Americans need to have conversations like this.
May 13th, 2005 at 1:33 am
1. I love how the “Love Has No Color” people are all white.
2. hmmm….I don’t think that explaining race to Madison as construct (when she’s old enough to get that idea) is like telling Noah his Judaism is definined by the holocaust. Well, anyway, there are positive events and people related to fighting against the holocausts of the Nazis and of American Slavery that offer more uplifting and identity-affirming ways to spin it. Or is that not what you meant?
3. That quote about many “Americans” thinking racism is over–ha! Dude means WHITE Americans. It’s so annoying, but in this country, white kids go to nearly all-white schools and celebrate Black History Month where they learn that racism is over. Then they show up in my freshman comp classes and deal with all the stuff I teach about racism not being over by writing papers that end “but really, racism is over or anyhow, nearly over and the passage of time will miraculously make everything better. Hurrah for America where everyone is free!”
sigh.