this woman’s work

You are browsing the archives from 2005 February.

I don’t really know anyone who likes February. Even people who have birthdays in February don’t really care for the month. Valentine’s Day, for me, is important because it means we’re half-way through it!

I’m a little stuck with the article right now but think it’s got more to do with lack of sleep than anything else. Madison has been waking up at around three in the morning the past few nights to play. Brett and I kinda push her back and forth between us before one of us gives in and picks her up to rock her back down. I think tonight I’ll go to the bookstore without children and work for awhile there.

There is just too much to say. I have to whittle it down because I feel overwhelmed by the whole thing. But I know what my point is so I just need to focus, refocus, refocus while I’m writing.

This is the hardest part so far because I’ll be writing and when I run out of steam, I see it was a tangent. But that’s ok. I have a lot of tangents to choose from and when I’m done spewing, I’ll have a lot to work with when it comes to editing.

Four years ago today, I was having bad dreams.

Three years ago today, I was about to quit seeing my fertility doctor and little did I know that I was pregnant and about to have another miscarriage.

Two years ago today, I wrote an entry that I then deleted but this one (the next day) explains that I deleted it. My job was disappearing (then reappearing) and we were trying to get money together for a homestudy.

One year ago today, we were matched with J., we were vacationing in Florida and I was struggling with my feelings of guilt about the adoption.

My I’ve been blogging a long time.

…to say that I’m pretty much working when I get a spare computer moment. I talked to the editor re., the antiadoption article and I’m going to try the first draft to be less research-y and more journal-y and then if she wants more hard facts or investigative reporting, I’ll go ahead and do that.

I hope this works out but meanwhile, I’m having a good time working on it.

These are impressive — I hope they make real change. Note the italics (mine) especially. It’d be great to see more practical support and information around induced lactation.

AAP Releases Revised Breastfeeding Recommendations:

edited to add the link: Here!

Aren’t these cute? I don’t know if she has any blank peg people shapes anymore but you should hit her up ‘cuz she can make ‘em match your family. We have several of these families — circus themed, winter themed, and nature themed (with little Fimo leaf-hats on their heads) in all sorts of multicultural goodness.

She’s also making fancy notecards these days — flappers, kitchen appliances, socks and I don’t know what. I guess Lucia and Frankie have kept her busy because she doesn’t have notecards up right now but you should bookmark her. Seriously. I would even if she wasn’t my sister. And she updates most Sunday evenings so that’s when you can make note to check back.

Erica likes to put glitter on most things. If you go to her house, you’ll leave with glitter somewhere on your face. You’ll be talking to someone and all of a sudden they’ll say, “Wait, there’s something shiny…” and they’ll brush your cheek and it’s some glitter that’s sparkling just below your eye. Brett can always tell when we’ve been over at Aunt Erica’s.

Anyway, that’s beside the point. You can ask for low glitter if you custom-order, or high-glitter and then she’ll be your best friend. Erica thinks the world looks better if you just add sequins. She might be right.

Something extraordinary has happened in the past few months. Both of my parents (separately, they’re divorced) had reasonable concerns about homeschooling. Who can blame them? They love Noah (especially my mom who is a big softie when it comes to her grandkids) and they didn’t have any experience with homeschooling.

The other thing is that Noah, when we first started out, was an extremely shy little boy. Our wish to homeschool him might have looked over-protective since one of our reasons was that we felt that full-day kindergarten would have been way too much social stimulation for him. (This was a child who would leave his 2 1/2 hour preschool, which he loved, and cry the whole way home because he was emotionally exhausted.)

But in the past few months, both my mom and my dad have made it a point to say that they think the homeschooling is going great and that we have their support. They both said that they think Noah’s confidence, maturity, and smarts are an impressive testament to our choices.

Now Brett’s parents have always been pro-homeschooling — even more so than we were at the beginning. It falls right in line with their New Age “find your bliss” beliefs. Their cheerleading has meant a lot to me as we’ve worked to figure this out but I tell you, my mom is my hero and to have her on my side means everything to me.

I’m pretty sure that a huge part of this is that Noah has become a bookworm. Knowing that he can and does read a great deal has made everyone (including me) feel better about him being home. It’s a relief to see him reading and writing of his own volition and I worry much less about his ability to learn now that he can take charge of his own interests.

Points in fact:
– Health > Specialists Trying to Unravel the Mystery of Miscarriage” href=”http://www.nytimes.com/2005/02/08/health/08baby.html” target=”here”>It’s in the New York Times
–It was in Newsweek

Finally! I’m gonna go get me a t-shirt!

Weirdness via snail mail. Got an envelope with block printing for my name and address. Postmark is Columbus. Inside a typewritten (well, laser printed) letter reads:

DEAR DAWN FRIEDMAN,

AN ANONYMOUS CONTRIBUTION IN YOUR NAME HAS BEEN MADE TO THE WINTERS HEALTHCARE FOUNDATION, INC. IN CALIFORNIA.

DR. WINTERS DECIDED TO STOP ACCEPTING INSURANCE PAYMENTS AND ONLY CHARGE A NOMINAL FEE, IF ANY, TO HIS PATIENTS. HE WAS TIRED OF INSURANCE COMPANIES TELLING HIM WHAT HE COULD AND COULD NOT DO. A DONATION TO HIS CLINIC HAS BEEN MADE IN YOUR NAME.

ANONYMOUS.

I’m just curious. It’s great that someone’s making donations but 1) I don’t know anything about this clinic so I’m not sure why it was made in my name; and 2) why my name and why not in the anonymous person’s name or simply anonymous?

Curiouser and curiouser. But in a nice way. (Here’s more and more and more.) Thanks so much to my anonymous letterwriter!

In last year’s casual, non-scientific survey, researchers (via blogs) discovered that the vast majority of unschoolers say that, “Being able to sleep in” is a major reason to homeschool. The other reason is surely The Politics of Valentines.

See, and you thought we were all dedicated to our kids and stuff! Actually we’re just lazy.

So I want to ask you all: Is it the same for stepparent adoption? Or any of the other myriad of ways in which children are adopted?

I just know that I am not thrilled about Madison’s amended birth certificate. First off, the kid is obviously not biologically of our family so it’s not like the new certificate can hide the fact that she’s adopted. Second of all, it’s not like her adoption is anything we’re ashamed of. We’re proud of her and her birth story and J’s status as her first mom. The more matter of fact we are about it, the more it legitimizes the complications of our family.

So there’s just no way people are going to be able to convince me that an amended certificate is the best option in our case; I would rather have an adoption certificate because I think that models for Madison that adoption is a perfectly swell way to join a family.

Being that some people really want that amended certificate option, I guess the best thing would be to make original birth certificates available without question. (As Beth said, Bastard Nation does a great job with this issue. I totally support their mission.)

Edited to add: I think this is one of those things where any suggested solution is going to be not quite right for someone. So I’m actually not that interested in debating which way is the best. I’ll leave it with this: I’m very glad Madison has a copy of her original birth certificate. That means the world to me.