this woman’s work

Wouldn’t it be great if…

Feb 28, 2005 Parenting, Writing

…I wasn’t so damn tired? But I am. It’s the remnants of a cold hanging on and then Madison cried for THREE SOLID HOURS last night. Her nose was stuffed up and maybe she was having the fear I had as a child when I had a cold — namely that I would shut my mouth in my sleep and suffocate.

We took turns rocking her. I rocked her first and as she screamed and threw herself around on me and grabbed at my hair to pull herself up in order to wipe her nose on my face, I found myself getting just the teeniest bit frustrated with her. Fortunately Brett came and took his shift just as I was contemplating putting her outside on the stoop for the milkman. (Ha! We don’t have a milkman but wouldn’t it be fun if we did? I always wanted to see the milk caps rising up on frozen cream like in the old-timey books I used to read.) Brett was — bless his heart — just slightly condescending when I shoved Madison into his arms and stomped off muttering something about how back in the day, babies obediently went to sleep with nary a murmur and cold or no cold, this was just getting crazy. He said things like this:

–”But Dawn, she is just a baby and how can a person get frustrated with a baby?”

–”You know how hard it is to have a cold — poor thing just can’t get comfortable.”

So it was with great pleasure that I took my shift when he showed up 45 minutes later, Madison stills screaming and his blood pressure clearly way up. Not that I took pleasure in the fact that she was still crying and I certainly took no pleasure in it being my turn again already but you know, it’s always nice to see someone fall off of his high horse.

We (meaning Brett and I) were both really unlovely and nasty to each other this morning but Madison was all sunshiney good cheer, god love her. Brett and I made up when he called to pseudo-apologize in the afternoon. (You know, calling to check in but with a tone that says, “I suck and you are wonderful and I don’t deserve anyone as wonderful as you because I am a poor excuse for a husband what with all of my carrying on and I just thank my lucky stars for every single moment you put up with me because lord knows, most women wouldn’t.” Brett can get a lot into his tone).

I’m in a good mood because Becca, my writing mentor, told me that the antiadoption article thus far does not suck and may in fact turn out to be good. I know I can trust her because a week or so ago I wrote her and said, “I have stage fright plus I know I’ll never be good as (insert name of other writer we both admire but who does not need any free publicity, let me tell you).” Becca wrote back to say (and this is a direct unauthorized quote), “The fact is, it’s true, you’re not as good as she is–and maybe you never will be, though I wouldn’t swear to that. Some people are just in another class, and it’s a very small class…” then she told me I was pretty darn good anyway but I won’t quote that part because I’m humble. Which told me that I can trust her because if she had said I was as good as the this-close-to-famous person, I would know she was a big liar. It would be like Brett saying to me, “But you are just as pretty as Kate Winslet!” That’s just crazy talk.

Now playing on iTunes: “Come Rain Or Come Shine” by Frank Sinatra

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