The truth about Meagan
I first met Meagan on a writing list when she was a cute little beginner with big dreams and little experience, just like a million other mama-wannabe-writers. She had high hopes, spunky determination and a great attitude. But having been on various mama-writer groups for half a decade now, I didn’t see much that was different in her than in the rest of us. Sure, she had talent but heck, I know a lot of women with talent. And yes, she was hungry for success but again, I know lots of people hungry for success.
What seems to happen to a lot of mom-writers with specific parenting goals (i.e., mothers who want to remain the primary caregiver for their kids or who aren’t done building their families) is that real life pushes writing right off the screen. (I speak from personal experience.) So Meagan seemed like a cheery addition to our group but I didn’t necessarily have her pegged for the big time especially when she got pregnant with her third kid because pregnancy is a sure way to get derailed. Unless you’re Meagan, I mean.
Meagan is hitting the big time and I’m here to tell you how she’s doing it. She wouldn’t want me to share her secret — in fact, she will likely deny it. She may even shoot me a really angry email telling me to cease and desist. But I think the truth needs to be said. How does she do it? How does she get big assignments and publishers knocking on her door while still holding down a part-time job and a homeschooling lifestyle with three kids? Is it neglect of said kids? Is it by ignoring her personal life and spending all day hammering on her keyboard? Is she sleeping with the editors? None of the above. You want to know? I’ll tell you:
She’s better than the rest of us.
Like I said, she’ll deny it (she’s humble, too) and she’ll say anyone can have her success but she’s wrong because if she were right, we’d all be pocketing $1+ a word checks and writing weekly columns. Nope, I think it’s about time that we faced the facts and acknowledged that some people really are just superior.
I’ll admit that I felt a bit freaked out when I first watched Meagan’s star start climbing. (I was a writhing mass of jealousy, ok? But I digress.) All of my worthy excuses — I’m busy homeschooling, I’m focused on my family — fell flat. And for a little while, I decided that it was simply a matter of focus and determination and tried to keep up with her.
Ummm, I can’t keep up with her because she’s super-human.
Now I’m not posting this to give Meagan a hard time (well, I sort of am because I like to tease her) mostly I’m posting it because I think it’s ok to recognize our own limitations. If we let people like her give the rest of us mere mortals complexes about our self-worth, we’re wasting a golden opportunity to get to know ourselves better. (Again, I know whereof I speak.) Meagan’s success (or anyone else’s for that matter) doesn’t have to diminish our own because it has nothing to do with us. We can look to it for inspiration without smacking ourselves around if we fall short.
I’m writing this because of a recent discussion on another list where someone glanced at another woman’s list of accomplishments and knee-jerk posted, “Then she must be a lousy mother.” It pissed me off. Way to project our own limitations, eh?
“If we let people like her give the rest of us mere mortals complexes about our self-worth, we’re wasting a golden opportunity to get to know ourselves better. (Again, I know whereof I speak.) Meagan’s success (or anyone else’s for that matter) doesn’t have to diminish our own because it has nothing to do with us. We can look to it for inspiration without smacking ourselves around if we fall short”
AMEN.
As someone who has met Meagan, though I’ve “known” her online for less time than you, I totally agree with your assessment of her. I’ve told her more than once that she’s my high water mark. But for some reason, I’m not threatened by her success at all; I’m actually invigorated by it. I feel about Meagan the way you wrote about her in the paragraph above. It’s interesting what things spring our traps, is what I’m saying; this isn’t a comparison of how we view Meagan in the sense of “I’m more emotionally mature than Dawn.” You see, there’s a local writer who beat me to pitching a monthly parenting column, and now I am sharing space for that column, and *that* has me spinning and writhing and wringing my hands nervously. But somehow, Meagan has been all non-threatening inspiration to me, the whole way. And I didn’t even “know her when.” What’s helpful for me now is to understand why this or that success makes me squirrelly (as I’m sure it’s helping you, too, Dawn).
And you’re right; you don’t have to be a shitty mom to be successful somewhere else. Meagan proves that. As do you.
But comments like that (she must be a shitty mom) come straight from insecurity (take it from an expert). I’m sure you realize this, Dawn, but again, it’s interesting to see what trips our individual switches. That woman must feel empowered as a mom but disempowered somewhere else. Kind of like the “must be nice” remarks people make about others’ good fortune. I used to be a “must be nice-r” until I got to the root of that insecurity.
Curious to see how Meagan responds to this! And I love your emotional honesty, always.
What a lovely post, Dawn.
I wanted to confirm my membership in the Meagan fanclub. Not only is she amazing in her own right, she’s been an incredible help to me in getting my writing career started. When I met her, through insecure writers, I didn’t have anything published and now, since September, I have published 9 articles.
AND she’s been an incredible support while I’ve been trying to cope with having a (premature) newborn and a three year old while still trying to write.
Meagan rocks in all ways, and to misquote the Irish saying ‘may the most she hopes for be the least she gets’
Embarassed yet, Meagan?
I read this entry this morning and went on about my day …tralala…and all day,I keep thinking about what you’ve written. So many things are sticking out in my mind as valuable lessons , both from Megan’s success story and the “shitty mom” comments. Thanks for passing along some inspiration
Wow. Who is Meagan?
And how can I find out more about this Insecure Writers thing?
Ooohhhh Dawn–you are in SO much trouble!
I just got online after being off for a day and thought “I wonder what lovely Dawn is up to?” and wandered over here, and now, er, wow. I am so flattered, and blushing furiously!
Well, that’s all I can say about that.
Actually, after reading more carefully and reading the comments, that’s NOT all I have to say! But I will have to do it later, since I’m not at my own house right now and I’ve been rudely hogging the computer and ignoring my hostess for a while.
Meagan is an unselfish, positive inspiration to mothers and would-be writers everywhere.
Thanks for telling everyone else, especially in response to that all-too-common tearing down.
Funny. Today, amidst considerations of my laissez-faire approach to writing, thoughts of Meagan and all she has aspired to and achieved in the time that I’ve ‘known’ her online keep seeping in. I randomly popped in here to find this lovely entry about her. She truly is an inspiration and an invigorator, she truly is some mama!
I also admire Meagan and her work, and you too, Dawn. I don’t know how you both do it with the babies, and also wish I could.
This is amazing. Another woman named Meagan who has accomplished my dream.