this woman’s work

It’s late and I just had a difficult phone call so forgive any typos, ok? I’m writing this now because I thought it would get my mind off things and make it easier to fall asleep tonight. I’m really enjoying this homeschooling dialogue, by the way.

First Sarah said: One comment on this particular entry…all of your points on ‘the other side’ have to do with the experience of education rather than the learning aspect. Do you see any negatives from that perspective?

Well, you need to understand what our other options were when we first started homeschoooling. We live in a district that only recently came out of academic emergency. This was one of our original reasons to homeschool Noah (the other was that socially, we just didn’t think he was ready for full-day kindergarten so we decided to try homeschooling for a year). So I’d say that at least right now, I don’t see any negatives to the learning aspect since our city schools — and our neighborhood school in particular — simply aren’t very good. But then the longer we’ve homeschooled, our ideas about what’s important in learning have changed. I’ve never been a big fan of standardized tests and I’ve become increasingly dismayed by the way that No Child Left Behind has forced educators to depend more and more on test results to secure their funding. Basically, I feel that learning has been sacrificed for the cause of good test scores.

Now none of this means that I don’t have days of heinous insecurity. My friend B’s daughter goes to a school that sounds like it has a great writing program. She was talking about what her daughter (who is a year older than Noah and pretty brilliant) is discovering about the writing process and it’s stuff that I wish someone had told me when I was eight. I started thinking, “Would I have known to teach that to Noah next year for his third grade experience?” But just because a teacher is offering great information doesn’t mean that every child in the classroom is ready to hear it. Even if Noah were in that school and had access to those lessons doesn’t mean that he would be ready for it.

The challenge in homeschooling is being on top of things; even unschooling, which looks very lazy, demands that lock in on your kid’s interests and pay attention to where it’s taking him. If Noah shows an interest in getting serious about writing, I’ll be all over it but I have to pay attention. Still I can do that better than many teachers with 20+ kids and a statewide curriculum; their hands are tied by the demands of those test scores and mine aren’t.

Noah is certainly learning but he may not be learning the same stuff that his peers are in the school a few blocks from here. The tricky thing is realizing that just because it happens in school, learning doesn’t automatically have greater value than learning at home.

This sounds like an obvious concept but it can actually be hard to hold onto. If every child in second grade has been taught, say, how to spell “telephone” and your own kid is homeschooled and can’t spell “telephone,” it can feel pretty worrisome. But just because this week happens to have the spelling of “telephone” in the curriculum doesn’t mean that this is the best — or the only — time to learn how to spell it correctly. A lot of school learning is like this because educational philosophies are — like every other philosophy — fads that come and go. There clearly isn’t just one right way to do things for every single kid. Phonics is great for some children and whole language is better for others — the pendulum keeps on swinging. Likewise, I’m sure that there are children for whom unschooling would not work but if you’re homeschooling, you can customize things.

Now here’s the very most trickiest part of the whole shebang: how do you define success anyway? If a child is successful with his phonics program, does this mean his test scores are the highest? That he enjoys reading the most? What does it mean to successfully educate a child? It’s pretty easy to point to failures — illteracy, inability to function in the real world — but it’s much more difficult to define success. And I personally think that a parent needs to define success for him or herself before they can really put themselves behind any educational philosophy.

Success is going to be different things to different people. If someone really values high test scores, they’re not going to appreciate what unschooling has to offer. Conversely, if someone like me comes along with little respect for test scores, she’s not going to care much about a private school who can boast that they’re the highest scoring district int he state. I don’t think that either approach is wrong — it’s really about different values. So while I may speak negatively about traditional schooling, I appreciate that my take on it isn’t necessarily right; it all has to do with my definition of success. This is why I don’t generally debate whether unschooling is better than homeschooling is better than public schooling, etc. Who’s to say? What does better mean, anyway? Just because I don’t care if Noah gets into an Ivy League school doesn’t mean that Ivy League schools have no value.

Brett and I have talked a lot about all of this and we define success pretty loosely. We want our children to think creatively, to understand the value of books (whether or not they’re big readers), to be able to figure out how to find answers to their questions, and to understand themselves enough to make sound decisions for their lives. While I used to think that I would stop homeschooling if the “right” school came along, I’m starting to realize that the only reasons I would send my kids to school would be if: 1) our finances demanded it; or 2) they really wanted to go. But this loose concept of success is something I come back to again and again as I work to define it for myself and understand it more concretely.

My biggest worry, actually, is that Noah or Madison’s values will end up being wildly different than our own and that they’ll be pissed that they weren’t getting drilled with flashcards from the time they were three.

Oh well. We do the best we can.

Jentle said: What about making sure his education is well-rounded? Is it hard at all to make sure there’s enough… I dunno, science? (Kind of too soon, but what about calculus?) Or does he circle around to most subjects on his own? If (when) he wants to go to college, how will you approach the SATs?

I’ll start with the last bit. If Noah wants to go to college, I hope that we give him the tools to direct himself towards that goal. I trust that if he wants to go, he will find a way to do so. (By the way, here’s an interesting discussion about college after homeschooling.) Many colleges will take homeschooled students with a minimum of fuss so transcripts likely won’t be an issue. Then, too, if Noah wants to go to school and needs to take the SATs, he’lll need to figure out how to do that. He might get a tutor for an area in which he feels weak. He might take a SAT prep class. I’m not sure but I trust that if he wants it, he’ll make it happen.

I never learned calculus so I’m not sure I appreciate the value of it but Brett did so if Noah or Madison want to learn it, he can help them out. But if there was something else — baskset weaving or macrobiology — that we didn’t know how to do, we’d find someone who did and ask them to teach the kids. (That’s one really nice thing about living near a huge university — there are a lot of potential tutors at the ready.) And then, too, most homeschoolers are into learning themselves and like to learn new stuff right along with their kids.

Right now it’s pretty easy to keep Noah’s education well-rounded because he hasn’t really found a passion. I know other children who are so into books or so into math that they only want to focus on that one thing. Depending on how their parents are approaching homeschooling, this may be an issue for the family or it may not be.

Noah actually does some science but it’s baby science. He and Brett built a ramp to learn about friction and momentum; they mixed up vinegar and baking soda; they made a pulley system. Noah really wants a chemistry set for Christmas, too. He’s taking a robot class at the rec center over winter break so it happens that he gets quite a bit of science. But I understand the question wasn’t about science per se but about a diverse learning experience.

There’s a rather flat joke that gets made at homeschooling social events where a kid will do or observe something nifty and the parents will all turn to each other and say, “Well, there’s our homeschool moment of the day.” It’s a joke but it’s true, too. You’re just always kinda looking for learning and it’s amazing how often you see it when you’re looking for it.

I’m trying to think of an example. Hmmm. Ok, I’ve got one.

A month or so ago, our kids were all sitting on the swings at the park after homeschool gym when this huge bird came swooping down near them. They were all craning their heads to see it and I was the one to make that lame joke, “Look! It’s our homeschool momentl!” But it was.

Afterwards, Noah went home and looked the bird up in his bird book and we argued about which bird it was. Noah thought it was something that was geographically impossible so we had to do a lot of research to identify it (I can’t remember what it was now). We got out the map, we checked out web sites. A good time was had by all.

The other kids in the group may not have done anything with it — I didn’t ask their mothers later — because as far as I know, Noah’s the only one into birds. But still, there was this opportunity and for Noah, it worked out to be a homeschooling moment.

His friend, A, on the other hand has learned to read because he so badly wants to get first dibs on the sports section every morning. He’s also learning a lot of math concepts as part of his football obsession.

E’s interest in science has led him — at 7 — to ask for more formal study. Because they do homeschooling with a curriculum (what some people call school at home but more relaxed), he does extra science work as a reward for finishing up the lessons that aren’t as much fun for him.

J wanted to make money, which led him to explore the possibility of breeding hamsters. This get-rich-slowly scheme demanded that he sit down and figure out a business plan, including a budget and several call so local pet stores to figure out demand. (His mother breathed a sigh of relief when he realized it wasn’t worth it.)

What I’m saying, rather poorly, is that while it’s possible for a child not to be well-rounded, generally most kids tend to get enough of the basics through their strong interests. Also, again, while I agree that it’s extremely important that children have opportunities to explore many possible interests and skills, I think it is arguable that well-roundedness is a virtue. I, for one, am not so well-rounded and neither are most grown-ups I know. They know a great deal about what interests them and just enough to get by about the rest. Having open possibilities should, I think, be the main goal and again, I think this is easier to do via homeschooling than it is via regular schooling.

And now it’s 1am and I better hit it. The baby’s been up a lot at night these days and I’m running on fumes.

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