This is a true story
Nov 27, 2004 The Story of My Life
Fourteen years ago Brett and I were living in an old townhouse in Victorian Village. We went out one night for a romantic evening and when we got back, we noticed the cats were acting weird but didn’t think much of it. Instead we headed upstairs to (ahem) end our date on a high note.
Just as we fell into each other’s arms, we heard a loud *thud* downstairs. We froze, listening hard. The cats had followed us in and began mewing nervously.
“My god,” whispered Brett. “There’s someone down there!”
“What’ll we do?”
“Call 911!”
I grabbed the phone to call while Brett stood in the bedroom doorway, my tennis racket in his hand.
“911, what’s your emergency?”
I told the operator that there was an intruder in our house. We could hear him moving around downstairs. The operator said she was sending the police right out and sure enough, they showed up with their lights blaring. A police helicoptor even whirred overhead..
“Are they there now, ma’am?”
“Yes, they’re here but I just realized that we put the big lock on the door and it’s solid oak — should I send my boyfriend down to let them in?”
And for some reason she said yes although looking back, it seems to me like the cops could have just busted the window.
Anyway, Brett raced down the stairs, flipping on the light when he hit the bottom. As he turned right to go towards the front door he spotted a huge rat perched on my antique doll on the bookshelf. He flung the door open to face two police officers standing ready with guns drawn and screamed, “IT’S A RAT!”
The cops exchanged glances, looked at the enormous rodent and said, “Ok, sir, as long as everyone’s fine.” Then they left.
Brett called after them, “Can’t you shoot it???”
But they left us alone with the big awful rat, two terrified cats and our own embarrassment.
The next day our landlord dropped off a can of poison, which we dutifully left out as directed (carefully avoiding any danger to our ‘fraidy cats). The rat didn’t show his whiskered face again.
A week or so later, we came back from Thanksgiving dinner at my dad’s to the realization that the creeping stench we had barely registered had exploded in our absence to a stomach-roiling stink we could practically see. We knew it was the decaying rat-corpse but couldn’t find it. It was ten o’clock at night but we went to our next door neighbor’s and borrowed their lab to see if he could locate the body.
Being a fine dog, he found the rat right away under the burners of our gas stove. We figure the rat went someplace warm to die (good thing we didn’t cook much back then). We were so grossed out and gagging that our friendly neighbor took pity on us and carried the rat out by its tail to toss into the trash.
We have mice in our basement now, which is why I’m thinking of this. Brett tried the humane traps first but they were eating the peanut butter and then pooping on the trap to show their contempt so we’ve graduated to the nasty snap ones. So far we’ve eliminated two of them. It’s a nasty business but not as bad as that damn rat.
November 28th, 2004 at 12:10 am
How great to meet a fellow (or should I say fellowette) writer! I’m blogmarking you so i can read you in peace later. I’m so glad BE sent me your way:)
Coco
November 28th, 2004 at 8:45 am
That creeped me out….
-d
November 28th, 2004 at 3:01 pm
Just curious- have you tried the glue traps with a tiny dab of peanutbutter in the middle? They sound barbaric since people usually either throw them out with a very alive mouse still attached, or crush the mouse, but you can use mineral oil and a ruler to pop the little mice off. They immediately become covered with dirt and run merrily on their way in some location far distant from the house. They’ve worked for me where the “humane” traps have failed, and the snap traps have failed.
Just thought I’d mention in case you hadn’t tried.
They have to be checked frequently, though- otherwise the poor critter dies of starvation/dehydration, or the glue becomes covered with dust and the mouse goes meandering off.
I’m dealing with NYC mice, too. They’re almost smart enough to graduate from an Ivy League school.
The only mouse I can’t catch is one that seems to suffer from some sort of mental illness, and who runs over my feet, my fiance’s feet, and the feet of the 99.5lb rottweiler mix.
November 28th, 2004 at 6:56 pm
Dawn,
We have been dealing with mice too. We bought these Black and Decker devices at Lowes that emit ultrasonic (?) sounds that bother the mice so they leave. Either we caught all the mice before we got the sonic things (unlikely, since we caught a mouse every night for 3 nights straight) or they really work. I don’t think they hurt the mice, just bother them enough to make them leave. YOu can’t use them if you have pet gerbils, hamsters or turantulas (They scare away spiders too as an added bonus.).
We should try to get together soon?
Amber
November 28th, 2004 at 7:11 pm
last week i came home from the grocery store to find our cat sitting on the kitchen floor next to a dead mouse! thank goodness my girls weren’t with me! i almost threw up having to dispose of it in the outdoor trash can, and am hoping desperately that I don’t see any more….
November 28th, 2004 at 11:26 pm
eeewww!!!!!
November 28th, 2004 at 11:31 pm
Be careful, careful, careful with the poisons. A family friend took their two dogs to a family cabin over for the holiday weekend, both dogs ate some poison that had been hidden for mice, one died over the weekend and one may be dying soon. Other dogs staying in the same house didn’t get into the poison, but these were smart, busy young retrievers.
November 29th, 2004 at 2:40 pm
Oh, that dog story is terrible.
We have mice in our kitchen, and nothing seems to deter them. Poison, ultrasonic thingies, snap traps, glue traps… They just keep coming. Now we’re using glue traps and checking them frequently so we can put the mousies out of our mutual misery. Much crying and gagging ensues.
And if I ever found a dead rat in my stove, I would need serious, long-term therapy and psychotropic medication.
December 1st, 2004 at 5:05 pm
We had mice growing up. One day my mother went to get a 3lb bag of M&Ms from the back of the cabinet and discovered that they’d all been eaten… So they knew exactly what to bait those traps with and they weren’t halfway down the hall when the SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! began. So if you’re looking for the BP alternative… it’s M&Ms.
Also, my mother and sister insist they lose a pound every time they eat a bag of M&Ms, so it’s like some kind of wonder candy.