kedushah
Nov 24, 2004 Judaism, Spirituality
Jackie said: “Part of my trouble is that much of the iconography, the Virgin Mary, the rosary, the Virgen de Guadelupe, still resonates with me, helps me make that connection, but I don’t know how to extrapolate a religion or community from that, you know?”
As a Reform Jew, I always wish there was such a thing as Reform Catholicism. There’s a wonderful book Sisters: Lives of Devotion and Defiance by Julia Lieblich. This book helped me decide to be Jewish in earnest although I struggle with some aspects of Judaism. One of the nuns is ex-communicated but she continues living/working as a nun. It made me realize that religion is between the individual and God and that the structures around our religions are there for us. It may be difficult to find a totally like-minded community but I do think it’s possible to be a seeker from within any religious tradition that feels like home and to bend that tradition to suit our personal relationship with God. I know that this is a bigger challenge in Catholicism but I don’t think it’s impossible. And I think it’s important that we not give up the things that are meaningful to us because our very human leaders try to tell us that we cannot have them unless we follow their rules.
I do struggle with this though. Judaism is all about following halacha — Jewish law. Is Judaism meaningless if we reject any of those laws? For someone like me — not keeping kosher, not honoring the sabbath, unable to pronounce any of the blessings (!) — can I really live a Jewish life? Well, it depends on who you ask. One day I’d like to live more Jewishly but I feel that this time will come when my children are older because after all, I’m in an interfaith marriage. It’s one thing for the two of us to decide that Judaism will be the dominant spirituality in our family; it’s quite another for me to demand that we all follow laws that are really important only to me. As the kids get older, if either of them want to embrace aspects of Jewish practice, I’d be pretty darn happy and ready to join them. But to follow these things now would be a hardship and ultimately, I’m afraid that they would actually turn my children away from Judaism and possibly then from God. It would be different if we lived in a Jewish community and had families that were living Jewish lives but we don’t. I trust God in this though. I trust that as my way has been made clear, so will my children’s and meanwhile within the context of Judaism, we are able to communicate with each other about that journey.
In the same way, I recognize that Catholicism for many people would have no power without the specific teachings of its leaders. In much the same way that Judaism is halacha so Catholicism is following rules set forth by the Pope — at least as I understand it. But then I remind myself that religion is the way that men (historically) have tried to understand God and so it belongs to us.
In the book my rabbi gave me before my conversion, Liberal Judaism at Home, the author Morrison David Bial writes:
The major difficulty with the criterion we have mentioned, his own sense of spiritual values, arrived at by diligent study of tradition — is that it obviously sets each Liberal [Reform] Jew as his own judge of what he will or will not do.To the traditional Jew, this is nothing less than a severe transgression of halacha, the law. It is God who established the Torah and its mitzvot, commandments. Anyone who would dare set any mitzvah, commandment, aside is one who would cut at the roots of the God-given religion.
Then what can the Liberal Jew use as his final criterion, to help his knowledge of tradition and his understanding of Liberal Judaism in the task of deciding just where he fits in the infinite spectrum of Jewish observance? The answer must be a sense of kedushah, of holiness, of that which will help him sanctify his life, to make it truly meaningful. By this must he live, and it will help him give his life that inner meaning by which we seek fulfillment.
I believe that God speaks to each of us who are ready to listen. I believe that prayerful contemplation of the religious traditions that speak to us is our right and — for our children’s sakes — our duty. I want to model an active relationship with God for Madison and Noah. I want to show them that every religious tradition has wisdom that belongs to those that seek it. No one has a monopoly on the right way to do things; not even the guys who put themselves in charge.
November 24th, 2004 at 10:08 am
>>I want to show them that every religious tradition has wisdom that belongs to those that seek it. No one has a monopoly on the right way to do things; not even the guys who put themselves in charge. >>
Amen.
The Hebrew verb root on which the word “halakhah” is built is הלך, “to walk.” I like to think of halakhah as “the walking” or (translating more freely) “the path.” As such, though my understanding of that path is different from the understanding held by a traditionalist or religious conservative, I can honor the path and my intent to walk towards God. Dunno if that notion is helpful to you or not, but figured I’d mention it…
November 24th, 2004 at 10:24 am
As a Catholic lesbian, I struggle with this everyday.
Ultimately, my relationship is with God. I refuse to allow HUMANS to tell me that I can not have a relationship with God because I do not subscribe to all of the Catholic dictates.
I was raised in a faithful family- we prayed often and together. My siblings and I went to Catholic school. My relationship with God is most fulfilled when I am living it through the Church and it’s prayers, traditions, and iconography. My relationship with God suffers when I do not go to Mass, say the Rosary, receive Communion.
I have chosen to remain Catholic. It is as much a part of me as my sexuality is and thus, I can not abandon it just as I can not live my life according to the Church’s positions on homosexuality.
Living one’s faith while struggling against its teachings is not easy but I agree with you that it is not impossible.
November 24th, 2004 at 1:56 pm
you’ve given me a lot to think about, and think about it I will!
I wish the same thing, about Catholicism! There’s so much about it that is repugnant to me once I leave a church, but inside those walls it still feels so right.
I think for me, the Catholic rituals I mentioned resonate with me especially, but a lot of Quaker ideology is really connecting with me lately too. I’m going to try and go to a local Quaker meeting soon, and I think my eventual path might include the rosary, the Vrigen, and Meetings.
I really want to model that for my girls too, a strong faith, a relationship with something Divine, a community of people with the same beliefs. I’ve been wanting to write about this for awhile, maybe I’ll get the chance soon!
wow, I can’t believe I inspired a whole post! I feel so inspirational!
November 24th, 2004 at 3:48 pm
Reading your last two posts has made me so grateful, yet again, that my support community (that of a recovery program) has only one rule–that we celebrate “God as I understand him” allowing all of us to get together, to pray, to discuss how God works in our lives–all without it being connected to any particular religion. In fact, it’s considered a violation of our traditions to claim that you have the RIGHT God and to tell us what to believe.
I’m so grateful. Maybe I could have lived without being drunk all those years, but now I have this. Lucky me.
Cecily
November 24th, 2004 at 8:24 pm
Raised Catholic, not practicing.
I think there are “reform Catholic” churches out there, but you need to know how to find them. There have always been liberal-minded Catholics–labor and civil-rights activists, strong supporters of the poor, peace activists, gentle kind souls. The nun who taught at my grade school who spent the summers in central America building houses and digging wells; the nuns and brothers who run free day care centers in the poorest areas of the US; the nun who taught history at my high school (1970s) who told students that she was proud to be a lesbian, that it was central to who she was. The Catholics who protest for peace and argue against war.
They are often the ones in the Catholic church who most closely follow Jesus’ teachings, no matter what the current hierarchy of the church says now.
The churches that have the most of this type of Catholics are kind of quiet, tend to be in racially-diverse urban areas near bigger cities, near universities. I don’t go to church anymore, I prefer more private worship (uh, like walking my dog in the woods), but a friend who has been attending church for years, while traveling around the country for her career, somehow is always able to find like-minded people in churches all over the country.
November 24th, 2004 at 8:27 pm
Oh–and here is an interesting link for social-justice-minded, left-wing christians:
http://www.sojo.net/
November 24th, 2004 at 11:38 pm
Have you looked at Reconstructionist Judaism? I was struggling with various denominations for a while. As a woman married to a non-Jewish man Orthodox was right out. Conservative temples seemed to want me but felt like my husband could go hang. Reform temples didn’t have enough hebrew. Reconstructionist was just right.
It is kind of Judaism’s version of Unitarianism. I feel like everyone there is searching, not just me and we can find answers together.
Thanks for the thoughts I like the idea of holiness coming from within.
November 25th, 2004 at 2:28 am
Jackie commented, “There’s so much about [Catholicism] that is repugnant to me once I leave a church, but inside those walls it still feels so right.” As a non-believer living in very-Catholic Poland, I can relate. I am sometimes so angry with what the church does that I rant until my wife is almost laughing. But sometimes, during Mass (I attend so my wife doesn’t go alone), I find myself drawn to the ritual of it all.
November 25th, 2004 at 1:42 pm
yes, i must follow up with - there are many extremely liberal and active catholics out there, even within the bounds of traditional catholicism. this is true in the united states, as i learned as a student at the country’s largest catholic university. the priests teaching at that place were very liberal and very active and very hilarious - they worked hard for human rights and fought against poverty throughout the world and could tell a bad joke with the best of them.
November 25th, 2004 at 10:11 pm
I didn’t hear the Madonna interview, but I feel there IS something to the claim that religion can be a divider. When one group claims that they have it all figured out and therefore, anyone else is wrong, then that sort of sucks. We need to maybe focus on the part where we follow our own path as we see it laid out. I mean, even if we think our path is “right”, it doesn’t do much good to focus on categorizing ourselves. That’s just how I feel right now. Also, here’s another group that I highly endorse as being the more “liberal”, socially just side of Catholicism. If you want to, you can look them up at catholicworker.org (I think). Unfortunately, I don’t think they have any branches in Columbus, just adding proof that they (liberal Catholics) do exist. Sharon
July 28th, 2006 at 9:33 am
as usual, no time to read rt now.
notice its 5.20am my time. and im at work. well, god bless me. dd’s in a show at camp today. anyway, i am perusing the archives (youre having made it so easy to do so) and wanted to say, that altho you converted, (i am assuming you did since you say youre a reformed jew, altho i cant locate a post where its indicated that you did)(umm, where was i) oh yes. and altho i was born of two jewish parents, but brought up by my jewish mom and catholic stepfather (another story, but this post is way too long already), but brought up jewish, you are much more knowledgeable about jewish doctrine than i. and jewish words. sometimes i dont know what youre talking about.
July 28th, 2006 at 9:57 am
well, i didnt intend to read now, but the post above mine caught my eye, so i read your post. i shd be working of course. i could lose my access to the internet if i abuse it. and what am i doing. abusing it. anyway, when and if that is brought to my attn, i will bring you and this wonderful blog to their attn, and hope they hold you responsible.
what makes one jewish, i think, is in the eye of the beholder. i am not religious. i dont celebrate the sabbath, dont fast on yom kippur, dont go to synagogue. what i do do is a seder on passover (and only cause of dd9. and since shes been going to an orthodox school for the last 3 years, guess what, she conducts the seder.) and celebrate the jewish new year-well get together with family. see, i will not even venture to spell it.
i think more religious jews do not consider me a good jew, or even a jew. i, on the other hand, sometimes stand in judgment of my sister, brought up as i (by my stepday whos her bio dad) who considers herself conservative, is kosher in the house, however, goes out on saturday and will eat out nonkosher, if the occasion warrants it. and her sons dont wear yarmulkes.
well, my point is, if one feels like a jew, theyre a jew. theres always gonna be someone who says youre not. thats theyre problem.
all i know is, if they every start rounding jews up again (and i dont think this is an impossibility) they wont discriminate on how religious we are.
and one other thought, if i may. i think you are a very openminded woman. did you ever consider that there may not be a god.
well, back to work.