Pet peeve
Oct 27, 2004 Uncategorized
You know why they call them pet peeves? Because we keep them close and stroke their fur and even though we’re allergic and they make us itch, we just keep on holding onto them.
My latest pet peeve: Back-handed bragging.
What does back-handed bragging look like? It’s when someone pretends to put him or herself down while really talking him or herself up and actually putting you down. The best example I can give of this is what a girl in high school said to me. “Oh Dawn, I so admire your fashion sense! I’m just not brave enough to run around in an outfit like that!”
If you call someone on his/her back-handed bragging, they will tell you that they are very hurt.
“But I’m serious! It’s a burden to be so smart/look so beautiful/have such talented children! I wish I were more like you!”
This is a very passive-aggressive post because I’m enjoying writing about this so much. I better walk away now before I get myself in trouble!
October 27th, 2004 at 2:55 pm
No, no! Tell the story of the recent experience that launched this rant. Please?
October 27th, 2004 at 3:23 pm
Eww. I hate that. I had one person do that to me–an old childhood friend. “You were sooo smart in elementary school! Whatever happened? I’m going to college now, and I envy you SO much for dropping out of HS and skipping college, but my dad says that anyone who doesn’t go to college is a loser.”
*GROWRHISSSPITBITE*
I, of course, responded “So, what are your mom and dad doing these days?” (They tended to do work that one would think a high school dropout such as me would be doing, rather than spiffy college grads such as them) and she promptly changed the topic.
Milage may vary, and I’m sure you know this already- but sometimes the best way to deal with backhanded compliments is to return the favor. Doesn’t make them into friends, but hey- they never were friends to begin with. :p
October 28th, 2004 at 6:12 pm
A girl I knew in college called them “Southern compliments” based on her mother and aunts who were from Georgia.
“Aw, did you make that yourself? I can tell!”
“Hon, you must have had a good supper…you look so FULL.”