this woman’s work

10 random thoughts/events from this summer

Aug 14, 2004 Parenting

1. At Noah’s last baseball game, one of the mothers commented on how much Madison “looks like her daddy.” She was genuinely surprised when she realized that Madison was adopted. And you know, Madison does look like Brett. But she certainly looks African American, although maybe if you’re brain isn’t going in that direction, it just doesn’t come to that conclusion.

2. How she looks like Brett is that she has shoe-button eyes like Pooh Bear. I always thought we would have a little boy with shoe-button brown eyes and now I think that I was just getting mixed signals from my future and that it was Madison I was dreaming of all along.

3. The baseball game notwithstanding, most people do recognize that there is some sort of story behind Madison’s arrival to our family. We had one stranger come up to me at the zoo and ask us outright if she was adopted. It turns out that it was because I was wearing the Ellaroo wrap and the woman had thought that maybe I had brought her home from Guatemala and she wanted to talk to me because she has a niece from Guatemala.

4. Another woman, who used to work with Brett, ran into us at Target. She was surprised to see us with a baby and asked if we thought we might have more.
“Oh no,” we said. “Two is perfect!”
And we told her that Brett had already made the appointment to get snipped.
The woman looked at us then at Madison riding in the sling in my arms, then back at us, then back at her and I could tell she was thinking, “Maybe she had an affair and poor Brett still has no idea.”

5. Madison loves music and this is her smiling big because I’m singing “Skip to My Lou” to her. Noah always grinned for that song, too. If she’s crying in the car, we can usually stave off a complete meltdown by singing to her.

6. We finished her state-mandated room and it’s a lovely thing to behold. Besides her predestined Pooh Bear eyes, I also have another personal indication that I knew all along that she was coming to us but didn’t recognize it consciously. See this Raggedy Ann? I bought it two years before I even considered getting pregnant with Noah. I bought it because I thought I would have a little girl someday. I vaguely thought maybe this little girl might not be white. Madison adores her Raggedy. It’s something about that happy ragdoll face, I think. (By the way, the pretty paint color of her room was picked out by my friend, L., whose decorating brilliance knows no bounds.)

7. It’s a funny thing about parenthood. I am inordinately proud of the fact that Madison has large feet. They are so big that when she wears her 6 to 9 month sleepers, her feet are twice as large as the space provided. Obviously I had nothing to do with the size of her feet and having big feet doesn’t indicate anything particularly exciting for her future (except that she may possibly have to look hard for shoes she likes) but I brag on them a lot. I’m the same way about Noah’s propensity for hats.

8. Noah’s big brothering abilities have surpassed my expectations. He likes to pick out her clothes every morning. (Here she’s posing as Billy Bob Madison). He loves to hug on her. “I can’t help it,” he told me when I told him to ease up. “She’s so chubby and beautiful!” She, in turn, thinks he’s the cat’s pajamas.

9. Noah also has embraced the complexities of adoption. We went to visit J. at her new apartment a few weeks ago and J’s little sister was there. Noah and D. (J’s sister) ran around like maniacs and generally had a very good time. Afterwards, on the drive home, Noah asked, “If D. is Madison’s aunt, what is she to me?”
“I don’t know if she’s anything to you,” I said.
“But she’s part of my family, isn’t she?”
“Yes, I’m pretty sure she is.”
“Good,” he said. “That’s what I thought.”

10. I feel very satisfied these days. Madison has settled into a more predictable routine (although we’re still not getting much sleep) and I finally feel back in the swing of things. Pretty much every day I wake up and thank the heavens for how lucky I am.

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