The same & different
Jul 16, 2004 Uncategorized
There’s a great picture of Madison here. Well, actually the quality of the picture isn’t so hot but I love the pose. Note that she is a mere 3 1/2 months old and already she’s is up in the air like that. She has also started getting on her knees for a second or two and lurching forward. I wouldn’t say she’s crawling — not by a long shot — but she wants to be. She’s got the determination and the intent but her body just won’t mind the way she wants it to. She hones in on something ahead of her and starts getting herself up to propel forward. Here’s a front view of the same pose.
A friend of mine sent over some breastmilk and I emailed her those pictures after Madison downed it with the message, “Clearly the breastmilk agrees with her.”
Someone asked me recently if Madison felt totally like my baby. The answer is yes and that came home to me when I was dandling her up above me and she drooled into my mouth. Now if some other person’s baby drooled into my mouth, I’d be grossed out. Ewww — sticky baby drool! However none of Madison’s bodily fluids disgust me least of all her spit. There you go. She must be mine.
Parenting her is just as wonderful, just as miraculous, just as joyous as parenting Noah has been. Holding her, cradling her little ball of butter body, listening to her coo — it’s just as fabulous this time around.
It’s not that I forget that she’s adopted — I value her birth story too much to forget that — but it’s not important to our day-to-day life. It shades my love for her in positive ways; I feel so incredibly grateful to be her mama.
I was joking with someone awhile back about Noah being a miracle baby since it appears that I have this terrible habit of miscarrying (two before him and four after). I have no idea how Noah managed to show up. Despite the impressive odds that Noah overcame, Madison’s arrival seems more miraculous to me. It’s so amazing that J. chose us, that her story played out in such a way that our profile came to her and that she wanted us to be Madison’s parents. It’s such a complicated scenario and yet here she is, in all her chubby glory. And we get to wake up every morning to her grinning little face (sadly always before 7am and sometimes before 6am but we’re managing).
I realize that there will always be people who don’t “get” adoption. I feel bad about that. I think I need to get a tougher skin actually because sometimes I let thoughtless comments hurt my feelings. There will always be people who can’t get past biology and who think that adoption is a concession — there’s nothing I can do about that. Frankly I love that Madison is adopted. I love that backstory to her life. I like that there’s a whole new set of genetic possibilities for our family tree. Sometimes I feel bad for people who don’t get to adopt because once you open your eyes to the gifts inherent to adoption, you start to feel pretty lucky. At least I do.
We’re visiting J. tomorrow. We haven’t seen her since mid-May and this will be her first time hosting. I’m pretty excited.
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