Baby gadgets
Madison kicks out of her swaddling blankets. She likes to be smooshed up tight in the sling and in the evenings, Brett wraps her like a little burrito to get her to soothe down for the night. But she’s a strong baby grrl and unhappily sheds her blankets pretty damn quick. Yesterday I was sorting through the newborn baby stuff ‘cuz she’s already grown out of most of her 0 to 3 months clothes and I found something at the bottom of one of my boxes. I had an assignment last fall to write about baby sleeping bags and one of the companies sent their SwaddleMe blanket along with their baby bag. Aha! I thought, I’m gonna give it a whirl.
It was fab. The SwaddleMe wraps her up tight and as soon as we wrapped her, she conked right out. Heaven. I could switch arms when one fell asleep! I could hand her to Brett so I could get ready for bed and brush my teeth! She snoozed peacefully on.
We also have two of these, which I like better because the material is more breathable (and they’re cuter) but she can fuss out of those. They’re nice to use before she gets fussy but once she’s crying, it looks like we’ll be dragging out the SwaddleMe.
Brett says she’s like a Rubik’s cube and perhaps we’ve found the solution.
Andi had the good thought that maybe she was having lactose issues, especially since she’s part African American. I’ve been watching for that but she doesn’t seem to have any digestive troubles. She rarely spits up, doesn’t have a rumbly tummy, doesn’t toot more than any other baby I’ve met. Also her fussiness doesn’t seem to relate to when she’s eaten.
My take on Madison is that she’s frustrated and very, very small. Noah was fussy, too, but in a different way. I think he was more easily comforted because, frankly, he was nursing. He got more suckling. Madison won’t always take the binky even when I think it would help. Sometimes she’ll take my pinky but really, I don’t think she’s getting as much sucking as her little body needs. Anyway, like Noah, she likes motion. She likes to be walked, bounced, patted and jiggled. And she likes those things done with great enthusiasm. This is a challenge because frankly, she’s heavy. I’m going to have great biceps at the end of this. I woke up last week with my arms full of lactic acid like I’d been working out on a weight machine from juggling her around all day.
Since she was three weeks old she’s done baby push-ups, hoisting her chest up on her meaty little arms when we put her tummy-down on a blanket. She’s had great neck control since she arrived on the planet. She’ll cry to sit up if she’s being cradled and would rather be held upright on our knee then leaning back against our bodies.
Brett keeps wanting to fix her fussiness but I just want to figure out how to live with it. I subscribe to this belief about crying babies:
Even though you may feel ineffective when holding your crying baby, in reality you are providing her with much-needed emotional support while she is releasing stress in this manner. Your baby is not rejecting you when she is crying. She is simply feeling safe enough to show you her feelings, just as you yourself might burst into tears if a trusted friend were to put his arm around you and acknowledge that you have had a hard day. Parents who hold their babies and allow them to express themselves in this manner usually notice that their babies are relaxed and content after the crying spell, and sleep better at night.
I think Madison is crying for a lot of reasons: I think she’s bored and frustrated for one but also I think she’s crying about being with J. and then losing J. I may be wrong. I don’t exactly want to visit my assumptions on her but I think, “Well, she’s had a rough start and she’s telling us about it.”
The hard thing is figuring out how to live the rest of our family lives with a crying baby. With Noah (who likely cried a lot because his birth experience was so traumatic and painful), he was the whole deal. We lived in a tiny apartment that needed no upkeep, we only needed to feed ourselves, and I could focus all of my attention on him. With Madison, I have to take care of Noah, too, and that makes it all much harder. Brett and I were brainstorming today about ways to streamline some things and trying to come up with some projects for Noah to keep him happy, too.
Mostly, I think we’re just going to have to wait. I think 12-weeks may be a turn-around for us; it is for most babies.
For our motion-loving babies, a baby swing did the trick — they have them with bassinet attachments if she’s too small to sit in a swing.
Also, vibrations — you can get a vibrating clip to attach to the bassinet. What saved us was the Fisher-Price bouncy seat with a battery inside that gave them “good vibrations.” We rather ungracefully called it “putting the baby in the electric chair.”
does the hair dryer quite her? I never take the luxury of drying my hair all the way except when I had an infant who was calmed by the sound. It was 20 minutes a day that I could be lost in thought and the child would just stare at me in their bouncy seat. Granted you get nothing else done, but its white noise and peaceful.
My daughter, M.E., had terrible colic (I know that’s not the case with your girl). Screamed all the time. Nursing helped a little, but really the only things that helped were white noise and getting her out of the house. I wore out our vacuum because it seemed to be the only thing that kept her from crying. I could leave it on for and hour and not even notice it. Maybe a hair dryer or oscillating fan might help Madison. Also, because my daughter was so fussy, we stayed in a lot. But I noticed when I took her out around other people, she seemed too busy looking around to cry.
My girl got better around four months, but still often seemed frustrated to us. We taught her some signs. My husband had this theory that she was annoyed that she couldn’t get to what she wanted or talk to us. He might have been right. It seemed that once she learned some signs (drink, eat, nurse, mama, ouch..) and learned to crawl, she turned into my easy kid. Unfortunately, I think my 11 year old son has yet to grow out of his colic
As I read about your Swaddle Me I thought, “Oh–I gotta tell Dawn/give her our Cozy Coccoon,” but you’ve got one (two!). The C.C. became part of our bed-time routine with S. I would hold her up while R. held the coccoon open or vice versa. She still loves to be held REALLY tightly if she is having trouble getting to sleep!
Also, with H. I had the same feeling that I was getting a work-out, but I wondered how my muscles would ever have that rest and repair time–like when you take a day-off from working out–you can not take a day off from holding and bouncing your baby!
Still ready and available to hold M. when you need!
Dawn, be really careful about lifting Madison. I got tendonitis from lifting El Chico those first few months. Switch off arms once in awhile (I never did). If you do end up with tendonitis, there’s a homeopathic remedy that can cure it in under a week.
My mom’s theory is that babies cry a lot starting at about a month because they’ve just figured out that they’re outside the womb and that they can’t do anything by themsleves yet. So they cry because they’re so pissed at being helpless. Makes as much sense to me as anything else.
Oh, and have you read _The Wonder Weeks_? It talks a lot about developmental leaps. It came out too late for me to use with El Chico, but I went back and matched the weeks to my journal of his first year, and it all matched up. One thing that was striking was that many babies experience an increased need for sucking around 12 weeks, and will take a pacifier when they wouldn’t take one before. it worked that way with El Chico. Maybe that will be Madison’s pattern, too.
Nothing really constructive to say, but wanted to add some moral support.
You’re a rock star.