Comments on: Yesterday http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2004/02/29/yesterday-4/ writing, mothering, writing about mothering Sun, 07 Sep 2008 07:13:53 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc By: Trey http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2004/02/29/yesterday-4/#comment-10208 Trey Sun, 29 Feb 2004 22:40:10 +0000 http://thiswomanswork.com/?p=1039#comment-10208 there's my home state for you! California had a 90 day revocation period, which seemed so long to us and they shortened it to 30 after our first adoption fell through (though the shorter period wouldn't help, the birth mother changed her mind after 3 weeks). Though 30 seems more sane, it still seems a long time to have a child and the emotional distance it forces on new adoptive parents. Our second try was through Washington, whose law is that it can be revoked till court approves, which can be as little as 48 hours. This seemed much too short, a mother has barely processed things before that period is over. Though I doubt our birth mother did or would have changed her mind, 48 hours seemed a short time to give her. But like Maria, I have no idea what the 'optimal' time period would or should be. 48 is too short, 30 is too long. (for your readers: <a href="http://naic.acf.hhs.gov/laws/state.cfm" rel="nofollow">http://naic.acf.hhs.gov/laws/state.cfm</a> has a searchable database of legal issues state by state, 'consent' is one, its pretty up-to-date (6/2003). there’s my home state for you! California had a 90 day revocation period, which seemed so long to us and they shortened it to 30 after our first adoption fell through (though the shorter period wouldn’t help, the birth mother changed her mind after 3 weeks). Though 30 seems more sane, it still seems a long time to have a child and the emotional distance it forces on new adoptive parents.

Our second try was through Washington, whose law is that it can be revoked till court approves, which can be as little as 48 hours. This seemed much too short, a mother has barely processed things before that period is over. Though I doubt our birth mother did or would have changed her mind, 48 hours seemed a short time to give her.

But like Maria, I have no idea what the ‘optimal’ time period would or should be. 48 is too short, 30 is too long.

(for your readers: http://naic.acf.hhs.gov/laws/state.cfm has a searchable database of legal issues state by state, ‘consent’ is one, its pretty up-to-date (6/2003).

]]> By: maria http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2004/02/29/yesterday-4/#comment-10207 maria Sun, 29 Feb 2004 16:42:36 +0000 http://thiswomanswork.com/?p=1039#comment-10207 Virginia is actually a bit stranger than just the plain 25 days. A birthmom cannot consent to an adoption until the child is 10 or more days old. From the day she consents she has 15 days to revoke her consent for any reason. It baffles me why they set it up this way. Most states either allow a birthmom to consent immediately and then have a certain revocation period OR only allows them to consent after a certain number of days, but then makes that consent irrevokable. Why Virginia decided to do BOTH is beyond me. I agree that 72 hours seems a bit short, but 25 days is ridiculously long and torturous for adoptive families. It's so difficult to find a balance that works best for the baby. I wish I knew the answer... but even after all we've been through I still don't. Virginia is actually a bit stranger than just the plain 25 days. A birthmom cannot consent to an adoption until the child is 10 or more days old. From the day she consents she has 15 days to revoke her consent for any reason. It baffles me why they set it up this way. Most states either allow a birthmom to consent immediately and then have a certain revocation period OR only allows them to consent after a certain number of days, but then makes that consent irrevokable. Why Virginia decided to do BOTH is beyond me.

I agree that 72 hours seems a bit short, but 25 days is ridiculously long and torturous for adoptive families. It’s so difficult to find a balance that works best for the baby. I wish I knew the answer… but even after all we’ve been through I still don’t.

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