An immodest proposal
Jan 30, 2004 Adoption, Feminism/Politics, Parenting
From Gays lose challenge to Florida adoption ban:
The 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled against the men, who are foster parents seeking to adopt children in their care despite the 1977 law.
…
Florida argued the state has a right to legislate its “moral disapproval of homosexuality” and its belief that children need a married parent for healthy development.
I was listening to them talk about this on NPR last night while I made dinner and I discovered that the supporters are using a study that “proves” that kids are better off in straight households. Apparently this study isn’t scientifically valid (it can’t be replicated, for example) but when it comes to the safety of children, clearly the great state of Florida isn’t going to let something silly like truth get in the way! So I said to myself, “Self,” I said. “This ban sounds like a mighty good thing but it doesn’t go far enough! If they really care about the safety of children then they need to ban all men from adopting!”
According to the government’s own National Clearninghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information: “Most fatalities from physical abuse are caused by fathers and other male caretakers.” Since I care about kids, too, I am proposing that ban men from adopting — gay, straight, whatever. Anyone with a penis should not be able to get a kid. I’m sorry, I know this is going to step on some toes but remember, it’s for the children! And we all want the kids to be safe, right? I’m having Brett move out tonight; I can’t bear to think what might happen to Noah if I don’t!!!!
Wait, I can’t be too hasty. Mustn’t create policy on suspect science; it’s not like I live in Florida or something! So I went out to find if there was corroborating information and discovered this study from the Juvenile Justice Bulletin. Oh dear! When babies are small, women are more likely to be the perpetrators of abuse! Ack! What’ll I do? Maybe we can just keep the baby in an institution somewhere (we all know how good those are!) until I’m out of the danger zone and can safely adopt it!
But seriously folks, I went looking for the study they’re citing in Florida and couldn’t find it (I’m not done yet, I know it’s out there; I just have to hit the right term in google).
I did, however, find this one at the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality. Remember when this got some press awhile back? It describes the differences in children of straight and gay families after examining 20 years of research.
1. Compared to the daughters of heterosexual mothers, the daughters of lesbians more frequently dress, play and behave in ways that do not conform to sex-typed cultural norms. They show greater interest in activities with both masculine and feminine qualities. They have higher aspirations to occupations that are not traditionally female.
Eek! If that’s a problem, maybe we ought to make sure feminists can’t adopt either; otherwise there might be too many little girls in non-traditional cute, clunky shoes at the preschools hogging the trucks away from all of the deserving little boys.
2. In terms of aggression and play, sons of lesbians behave in less traditionally masculine ways. They are likely to be more nurturing and affectionate than their counterparts in heterosexual families.
See? The sons of lesbians can’t even clobber the pushy daughters of lesbians and get their trucks back! They’re too busy pretending to make dinner and telling each other, “Hands are not for hitting!” Somebody has to put a stop to that!
3. One study examined by the researchers indicated that a significantly greater proportion of young adult children raised by lesbians had engaged in a same-sex relationship (six of 25 interviewed) than those raised by a heterosexual mother (none of 20 interviewed).
4. Those raised by lesbian mothers were also more likely to consider a homosexual relationship.
I’m lumping these two together. I can see that this might wig some more conservative folks out. Me, I don’t care if my kids grow up gay, straight, bisexual, etc. as long as they grow up nice. In fact, if there’s a quota of gay babies that God sends out each month, I gladly volunteer to take in one or two that were originally slated for fundamentalist Christian families in Florida. But I do need to add that participating in a same-sex relationship does not make one gay; sexual orientation is way more complicated than that. Gay people don’t raise gay kids any more than we straight people do but it does sound like they raise children who are more open to finding loving relationships in more diverse places. I don’t see this as a problem and neither should Florida. It’s none of our business how and why people choose to love each other.
5. Teen-age and young adult girls raised by lesbian mothers appear to be more sexually adventurous and less chaste than girls raised by heterosexual mothers. Sons, on the other hand, were somewhat less sexually adventurous and more chaste than boys raised by heterosexuals.
Hmmm, interesting. I personally don’t mind a sexually adventurous child as long as she’s playing safe and feeling empowered. But I do have a brilliant idea! Those of us who are concerned that our sons not grow up to establish their own Spur Posse should send our sons to be raised by lesbians! Hmmm, I may enlist some lesbian friends and start a service — Sappho’s Kids: Creating Chaste Men for a Better Tomorrow. It’s got kind of a ring, doesn’t it?
6. The studies indicate that sexual orientation has no measurable effect on the quality of parent-child relationships or on the mental health of children.
Well, there you go. That’s what it all comes down to. Shame on you, Florida!!!
January 30th, 2004 at 1:47 pm
You tell ‘em, Dawn! Maybe those Florida people would be a little more open minded if they had to pay the same property taxes as everyone else. I say we raise their taxes so they have something tangible to complain about.
January 30th, 2004 at 3:13 pm
Thanks for the link! It’s heartening to hear that the 11th Circuit has everything under control, so they can worry about truly important things - like denying a family the right to adopt their foster child. *sigh* Florida isn’t my most favorite place in the world - even though my husband (arguably one of my most favorite people) is from there. Not hard to see why.
January 30th, 2004 at 3:14 pm
Well, hell, under that sort of research I think all boy babies should be raised by lesbians. Or at least once they stop being “babies” since women are more likely to harm them and all. But just think! They are less masculine, more nurturing and affectionate, and more chaste. Well, then that’s obviously in their best ineterests, wouldn’t you say?
Instead of forcing these poor young boys to be raised by ineffective straight parents, I think there should be a ban on heterosexual couples raising boys at all. They’re clearly providing a less-than-adequate home environment!
Off to read the study to see what it says about gay men. Maybe I’ll have to cough up my daughter to be raised by my brother and his partner. I will admit they probably have better table manners and sewing skills than I do. Uh-oh…
January 30th, 2004 at 4:04 pm
LOL. Sexuallity and gender identity are incredibly complex components of our pschological, emotional, and physical make-up, and it baffles the mind to see people try to make it seem either wrong or right. They should focus more on making sure the kids they have in the system are taking care or not LOST (you remember that case?) and not make life difficult for both the child and the parents due to unfounded, bigoted fears.
January 30th, 2004 at 10:00 pm
What I’m wondering is why the headline says that “gays” lost the appeal. Wasn’t this a loss for children and “straights” who believe that all children should have every opportunity to be adopted by loving parent(s), regardless of their sexual preference?
January 30th, 2004 at 11:41 pm
“See? The sons of lesbians can’t even clobber the pushy daughters of lesbians and get their trucks back! ”
Yeah, Dawn! for making me laugh so hard I cried.
I, personally, think Florida is the hellmouth (see: “waiting for nat”).
February 1st, 2004 at 9:41 pm
That was an awesome entry…. Really helped me feel good about my children’s future, thank you.