November 21st, 2003
The following is a list of Do’s on meeting with your potential birthmom for the first time from our social worker:
Do offer to buy her lunch. Amazingly this isn’t obvious to everyone.
Do order appetizers. Food on the table cuts the nervousness more quickly.
Do dress casually but not sloppy.
Do bring a photo album so she can get a glimpse of your life.
Do remember that she is likely more nervous than you are.
And now the Dont’s made up by a punchy Dawn and Brett with help from their friends:
Don’t order for your guest. “What? Diet coke? I don’t think so, dear, we must remember what’s best for baby, mustn’t we?” [to the waitress] “She’ll have the skim milk. Oh and a fresh green salad, dressing on the side.”
Don’t grill your guest. “Do you take prenatals? How tall is your mother? Can you carry a tune?”
Don’t assume that she’s already made up her mind. “When you have the baby, we expect you to call us first thing so we can come and take charge of things. As a matter of fact, just give us a buzz when that first contraction hits. You’re not planning on an epidural, are you? Honey, you just need to breathe.”
Don’t get drunk before or during the lunch. After is entirely up to you.
Don’t try to guilt her or go into a long story of your desperation. “So you see,” [grabbing her arm with a wild expression] “If this adoption doesn’t work out, I’m going to jump off of a cliff.”
Don’t try to bribe her. “And if you give us this baby, we’re going to buy you a pony!”
Don’t wear your empty Baby Bjorn or a nursing shirt. That just makes you look crazy.
Possibly related posts
Categories: Adoption
Ha!!!! a pony! I love it!
Might I add to the don’t list? If you have to pee, do so BEFORE you arrive. Husbands get very upset when you do the pee-pee dance and rush to the bathroom leaving them alone in those awkward first few minutes of meeting a birthmom.
I probably shouldn’t laugh, but I can’t help it. The Baby Bjorn line was the clincher
That’s hysterical . . .