Our first precall
Remember how I said that our agency precalls people if there’s something in a woman’s history that might be an issue before sharing our bio with her? We just got our first precall. In fact, there was nothing in her history that alarmed me although there were a couple of things I thought might be worrisome to Brett. He surprised me by saying it sounded fine. So they’ll be sharing our biography and I hope hope hope that she likes us. The baby is due September 14th.
She wants annual visits and that’s one reason I’m hoping this works out. It would be wonderful to get to see her once a year; that’s something I’m really praying for with the birth mother who chooses us.
I was thinking how MamaMojo said she had a feeling about last week for us. At the time I wondered if we would be contacted or if it would be something on the birth mother’s end not visible to us. I don’t know if this woman will end up placing her child with us but it’s nice to feel that things are moving and there really is a baby at the end of this book.
Dawn,
My nephew is adopted through an open adoption. His birth mother came to see him quarterly the first year. Twice the second year; and now she’s disappeared. She moved and didn’t leave any forwarding information.
For my nephew; this wasn’t really an issue. He was too young to really understand the grand implications of such an action. However, for my six year old neice, it was very upseting. She didn’t grasp the concept that “mothers” could go away and this very much upset her. She was terrified for a few years that her mother would also go away. (She was not adopted)
Hopefully, this would not be the case; and I only bring it up so that you are aware that these things will effect Noah as well. And sometimes, the things we don’t expect are the things that effect our children.
So I guess, what I’m trying to say in a million words here… this is just an FYI.
= d
I’ll be thinking about you; sending good energy your way!
Congratulations!!!!
congratulations and best of luck!!!
Congratulations! We are hopeful!
Congratulations Dawn, this is so exciting!!!
That’s good news! I’ll be thinking of you!
I’ve been thinking about what D said, above:
“Hopefully, this would not be the case; and I only bring it up so that you are aware that these things will effect Noah as well. And sometimes, the things we don’t expect are the things that effect our children.”
I know that in my own childhood, some of the things that had the strongest impact on how I’ve felt about myself–both for bad and good–were small, offhand comments made by people I cared about. I don’t think those people could ever have anticipated how their comments were received on a tiny, active mind.
For my children, sons in their late teens, I think back on some things I wish I hadn’t said or done. Though I think I was an unusually attentive & sensitive parent, I do have regrets. I don’t know yet if those same regrets are the things my sons will look back and resent me for, or if they were hurt by things I don’t even remember saying/doing.
We can’t live our lives in ways that are always *anticipating* the harm we may do to our children (or, the other side of the coin, benefits we may bestow). We can think things through, so we are aware of the possibilities. We can watch carefully and work with our children to make communication strong so that we are aware of how things are affecting them.
In the solar system where the workings of our child’s mind is the center of his/her universe, we’re satellites. We can’t really ever know all that is going on in there.
Congratulations, Dawn Brett and Noah. I am thrilled for all of you and sending much positive energy your way. Thank you for taking sharing this journey.
Whoops–I’m sorry. I meant both ‘taking others on’ and ’sharing’ at the same time!
…so, dahlink…when were you going to tell your Mother?
I think annual visits are a fabulous idea! I have always been slightly bitter about the fact that mine was a closed adoption, so I might be jaded in that regard, but I would have loved the chance to at least look at my birth mother a few times during my life.
Oh! And we’ll be in Columbus around the 22nd or so of August!