Henry Huggins strikes again!
Jun 23, 2003 Parenting
Last night Noah folded the entire Sunday paper. He said that he knew he’d be good at it because he’s good at folding laundry. Quite true, he was good at both. So he folded up the paper and then stuck ‘em in a bag and went around the house delivering them to Brett and me.
He’s really impressed that Brett was an actual paper delivery boy. A bit of hero worship there.
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Nifty test
Jun 22, 2003 The Story of My Life
I got this test from Kim. Pretty accurate.
Your Brain Usage Profile
Auditory : 31% Read the rest of this entry »
Visual : 68%
Left : 44%
Right : 55%
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Tags: essay
Making a messy life messier
Jun 22, 2003 Adoption
I was talking to my mom about the craziness that is this job and she said, “With everything going on right now, do you and Brett still want to bring a baby into it?”
Well, yeah. The baby’s the whole point. But sometimes I do feel enormously selfish and stupid. It’s something I say all of the time: Baby lust knows no logic.
When you’re going through infertility treatments or adoption, your parenting plans are so very, very intentional. If you’re just a regular fertile person, you don’t have the time to focus so intensely on What You Want. You either get pregnant by mistake or by “hey let’s have a baby” but you don’t have to remake the decision over and over and over. If you start having doubts, it’s too late because you’re eight months pregnant.
Brett and I have revisited the question “Should we have a baby?” approximately 46,792 times over the last 43 months (we started trying in November ‘99). We asked it of ourselves before we sought treatment, many times during every treatment decision, before every clomid pill, before every check written, before each and every form we signed for the adoption. We have uncovered every ambivalence but we still seem to be moving forward. Even now, as we near the end of our homestudy, we have doubts.
I have a particularly good day with Noah and I think, “Why should I disrupt this? Our family is so happy already.” I have a particularly bad day with anything and I think, “How can I handle more chaos in my life?” But underneath it all — the doubt, the fear — is the simple fact that there seems to be a baby missing in my life.
I’m terrified but then I should be. Parenthood — as wonderful as it is — should strike terror in every concerned parent-to-be’s heart. Ambivalence at impending parenthood is the first time a parent says, “I love you already. I love you so much that I worry I’m not good enough for you. I worry that I can’t do right by you.”
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Tags: Brett, clomid, Infertility, my mom, Noah
I made my sister a blog
Jun 21, 2003 Family
It’s frustratingly imperfect but I want her to have another way to get her work out there. Check it out: Erica’s Embellishments
Tell your friends, family and small pets! She takes custom orders!
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Tags: Erica
A fine role model
Jun 20, 2003 Parenting
Noah says joyfully, “I am living my whole life like Henry Huggins!”
We got another installment of the books on tape and Noah has big plans to get his own paper route when he’s eleven. He pointed out that he has a clubhouse, too, just like Henry and has announced that he’s ready to take the training wheels off (the ones he said he was keeping until he was seventeen) in order to get ready for that eventual paper route.
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Tags: Noah