How things can work
Jun 30, 2003 Read/heard/seen
The Village Voice: Features: The Queer Issue: The New Queer Family by O’rya Hyde-Keller
In her late twenties, Beth decided she was ready to have kids. She met Phillip Hernandez and discovered that he and his partner, James Slayton, longed to have children, too. They joked about doing it together, and one day the conversation turned serious. The three drew up a formal agreement that was not legally binding but would serve as a framework for this family for the next 18-plus years. They now have two sons, 3 1/2-year-old Zander and 17-month-old Nicholas, and another son on the way. The boys are each biologically related to one of their dads, but Beth thinks the distinction isn’t important and balks when people ask her to clarify. Part of their agreement was that the three would live together and find a house with enough space to accommodate a future partner for Beth. She would stay home and take care of the children while Phil and Jim, both psychiatrists, would continue to work, providing most of the financial support. “The idea of finishing a master’s, working full-time, and having a baby did not exactly appeal to me,” says Beth. They didn’t want a day care baby. “So it made sense for me to stay home and for us to find a way to live together.”
Sounds pretty great. And to show you where my mind is at these days (bills) I’m really stuck on the luxury of having two parents with paychecks and still being able to have a parent home with the kids.
July 1st, 2003 at 2:56 am
you’re not the only one, dawn. my mind starts to shut down in unimaginable bliss at the idea of two psychiatrists’ salary, with me staying at home.
July 1st, 2003 at 5:24 am
It sounds great to me, too.
July 1st, 2003 at 7:28 am
There’s a fantasy book by Mercedes Lackey/Piers Anthony called “If I Pay Thee Not In Gold” that touches on triad relationships. I’ve pondered two incomes with a third SAH parent when we’ve gone through financial lows, too. Sounds lovely in some ways…
July 2nd, 2003 at 4:10 am
Hey–I was just thinking about you, checked this out, and I, too, could not help thinking, “Damn, two M.D. incomes, and she stays home, wow, …”