Comments on the post below
I’ve gotten some comments privately, too, so I thought I’d address them here.
Here’s why I posted it: When we talk about work vs. home, there’s always this assumption that the parent in question (usually the mom) who is contemplating work vs. home personally has this great fulfilling job where she carries a briefcase and makes Important Decisions. This totally leaves out a whole world of parents who are working at mind-sucking, miserable jobs.
What I liked about the post I quoted below is that it says, heck, jobs aren’t worthwhile just because they’re jobs. I know this likely isn’t news to you but it’s news to lots of people. Trust me. Decompressing from work is really hard and there are plenty of women (men, too, but I mostly hang with women) who are now homemakers (for lack of a better word) and are slightly freaking out because their jobs defined them. Never mind that they didn’t like their jobs or that their jobs didn’t like them, it’s still hard to recreate yourself in the image of a Parent Who Is at Home.
I’m betting it’s even harder for men, actually, because this job=you has been drilled into them much more extremely.
I so agree with you about not all jobs being equal. And that it’s easier for a someone with a crappy job to give it up. A lot of people are underemployed in the sense that their jobs in the working world don’t reflect their value as humans.
I am not so sure that it is easier to give up a crappy job. I mean as long as we are talking about *working* we need to remember that the vast majority of people work because of the paycheck. If you are working and getting paid for something that is your passion then you are an extraordinarily fortunate and rare individual.
So I think it is not particularly helpful to talk about parenting and working unless one makes careful distinctions about economics.
Yes, but, the definition of “needing to work” fluctuates depending upon the person’s accustomed standard of living.
Living expenses have a way of growing to swallow one’s paycheck. When things like cable TV, and magazine subscriptions, and paid daycare, and health insurance, and a new car in the driveway, etc. are considered to be *necessities*, then of course one’s “needs” will be higher than someone who can find a way to live without those same things.
So I guess what I’m saying is that to some extent we choose our own economic comfort level. Everyone “needs” the basic necessities of food, clothing, and shelter.
But once past subsistance level, once the basic needs are met (and it can be a struggle to do that) there’s a degree of leeway with regard to whether a mother “needs” to work.
homemaker is a lovely word
what’s the one place we want to all return to when we’ve had enough of the world? Where do we all yearn for when we’re tired, lonely or down trodden?
Home. Home is an all important place-
making that place welcoming, functional, embracing
and full of life is quite a job.
Home-maker. It’s a lovely word. And a very important job.