Baby plans
Now that things are a bit more calmed down around here, I’ve been thinking about the adoption again. I’m hoping for a baby by Christmas and that could just as well happen as not.
I’ve been reading this book about observant Jewish women’s thoughts and feelings during pregnancy. These are women who lead extremely God (or I should properly say G-d) centered lives and so they see the presence of G-d in everything they do and experience. It’s been very inspiring to see that aspect of their lives because usually when I read something like this I am struck by their daily restrictions. I could never be any kind of fundamentalist personally but through their daily ritual, they certainly are closer to G-d than I am right now.
I don’t think ritual is necessary for communion with the Power(s) that Be but as a reform Jew, I’m not against ritual either. The reform credo is to do the things that bring you closer to God and to let go of the things that don’t have personal meaning. Right now I’m exploring the rituals that will work for me, which is difficult when you don’t know the Hebrew.
Anyway, back to the adoption. I have started praying every night for the woman who is or who will be carrying the baby that she will place with us. I pray that she’s safe and that she is able to find comfort. I pray for the health of both her and the baby. I pray that she can feel our respect and gratitude and that she is surrounded by loving support. I pray that she will find healing and that there will come a time when she can have some sort of relationship with our child that will be fulfilling for them both. I pray that she can forgive herself, too, and find peace in her decision.
Dawn, what a beautiful and moving entry. Thank you.