A couple at the training
There was a couple who said that they felt capable of raising a multiracial child because they themselves are diverse. Diverse in what way, you ask? He was raised Greek Orthodox and now they’re Evangelical Christians. Right. That is like totally diverse. Later she came over to me and told me that I shouldn’t worry about the racist implications of a transracial adoption but maybe I should do what she and her husband did and move to an interracial neighborhood (we already live in one) and that I shouldn’t get hung up on crime.
“We tell all our friends that they shouldn’t be scared to move by us!” she said enthusiastically. Umm, ok. So all her friends are racists.
“Besides,” she went on. “Our old pastor has two black children but now he’s in Minnesota and I guess it’s really racist in the true midwest. I’m so glad it’s not like that here.”
I grunted something unintelligable and looked desperately over her shoulder to see if Brett was coming to rescue me.
“You know what I say,” she continued. “I work in retail and you know what I say when I train someone. I say, you have to treat everyone the same! I mean, some people look practically homeless and they might have a lot of money! You just never know, right?”
“Actually,” I ventured. “Color blindness — pretending we’re all the same — is a form of racism.”
“Oh right, right,” she nodded agreeably. “I think all colors are equally beautiful.”
Fortunately, there was another couple we hooked up with who had the exact same questions that I did. We exchanged emails (I wonder where I put hers?) and they told me I should check out Interacial Families in Friendship, the local transracial adoption group. I’m on their email list but was hesitant about showing up because we haven’t adopted yet but this couple said that we would most certainly be welcome. Both the social workers at the training recommended it as an excellent resource, too. There’s a potluck this Saturday and I think we’re going to go.
Great thoughtful post. I love stories where people are quoted.
Where do people like that come from? Seriously, I used to think they only existed in sitcoms, but I’m seeing it more and more now.
Sure, the people are more homogenous in some places in the midwest, but Minneapolis (for instance) has a large Vietnamese population & I believe there are also quite a few Santee Sioux in that vicinity. In one town in northwestern Iowa (Storm Lake), the Hispanic population is the _majority_.
Of course, the presence of people of other ethnic origins than European does not necessarily mean there is less racism in that community. Although I do think there is a lot more diversity and acceptance of difference in Iowa now than there was when I was growing up (but then, I grew up in a small town that was narrow-minded in lots of ways).
Anyway, I think this weblog entry was great and you did a great job of portraying the (vapid) character of this particular individual.
Here’s a couple of articles about raising biracial children that might be relevant to your adoption:
How to Teach Biracial Children about Racism and Prejudice
http://www.parenting-child-development.com/biracial-children-and-racism.html
Five Tips on Buying Biracial Children Gifts
http://www.parenting-child-development.com/biracial-children-gifts.html