I am so-o-o-o-o Tired
Jan 20, 2003 Friends
My friends took me out for a belated birthday dinner last night. Actually I was supposed to go and see Chicago with one of them, too, but I didn’t realize I was supposed to meet her there so I missed the movie waiting for her call. Rats! When I met her at the restaurant she graciously handed me the sad and lonely wasted ticket. Double rats! I’ll stick it in the corner of my mirror as a constant reminder to check with people before making assumptions about our plans.
After dinner, we all went back to L’s house for wine and conversation. I didn’t drink but did get drunk on talking. We shared dirty little secrets. My friends have pretty good ones (really, quite impressive) and I bet you wish you were there to find ‘em out! Sadly I can only tell you mine, not that I have anything very exciting to share. Especially because anything a person does when they’re less than 20 doesn’t really count, in my opinion, so there’s that whole sordid era, which I won’t get into right now. It’s nothing you didn’t do, surely.
Actually my dirty little secret of the moment is that I could be a whole lot nicer to my husband. I have GOT to quit being so damn sarcastic. Sarcasm is Not Nice. Brett is patient patient patient but I think that if he shaved my head while I was sleeping that no one could blame him.
This is my late New Year’s, late birthday resolution: be nicer to Brett.
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This is all happening so quickly
Jan 18, 2003 Adoption
We have the adoption orientation class on February 1st and our home study starts as soon as we cut a check. That will take 6 to 8 weeks and then we’re in the pool. At that point, this fast moving train may slow down. Way down. On the other hand, it may keep speeding forward; it all depends on how quickly we get picked. I am seriously considering freaking out about it.
Ode Magazine is taking the piece. I think it’s going to be in their brand-spankin’-new english magazine that will be available across Europe. Cool. They also want me to do an online chat. I said I would if they also allowed me to invite Annette whom I interviewed for the magazine. They said that was fine and she’s agreeable.
Mothering said that they usually turn down article proposals on the subject I’ve offered to write about so I’m not holding out hope there. Ashisha did say, “We all agreed that we liked your writing and balanced presentation” re., the TCS piece. Small comfort when she was letting me know to expect a rejection.
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Lotsa time on my hands
Jan 17, 2003 Adoption
I’m feeling a little guilty because Noah is wanting to play in the playroom with Peanut and his storytapes and I’m sitting at the computer enjoying my child-free afternoon. I feel like I ought to run down there and start reading Plato out-loud (I’m reading a classical homeschooling-inspired memoir) or come up with some fantastic science experiment.
This unschooling thing is sometimes a little too easy.
I just talked to Brett a little bit more about the adoption (he’s still feeling cautiously excited about it). After I hung up with him someone from the agency called about having us come for a training on February 1st. That’s when we were thinking of having Noah’s birthday party. It would be relatively easy to have it January 26th instead (he’d be thrilled to move it up) but I’m worried that’s too late notice for people. Then again, a smaller party in our little house wouldn’t be the worst thing to ever happen.
I’m getting lots of responses to my request for diaper samples. I’m sure there will be too many to have in the one article but that’s ok because if the diapers are great, I’ll feature them in a blurb in another issue. I am amazed by some of these diaper descriptions and can’t wait to see them in person. I think I’m going to have a diaper party and invite over friends with babies, friends who once cloth diapered, and friends who sew and we can pass them around so that they can help me review them. It’ll be fun and then I’ll feel like I really know what I’m talking about when I write up the piece.
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Tags: homeschool, Homeschooling, Noah, unschool, unschooling
This book made me think of Drublood
Jan 17, 2003 Adoption
It’s titled Loving Across the Color Line: A White Adoptive Mother Learns about Race by Sharon E. Rush. It’s about a white civil rights lawyer who adopts a black daughter. It’s incredible. It’s one of those books that take me forever to read because I have to keep setting it down and looking off into the middle-distance to ponder something the author has said. Between needing to do that and the usual reading interruption breaks (the dough must be punched down, the dog must be let out, Noah must show me the Pokemon trap he just built) I think it’s going to take me a good long time to read it.
It’s such a powerful book! It reminds me of Drublood because of the author’s bravery. She is willing to talk about race and white privilege and she is stalwart in her convictions, just like Dru. I think that Dru is so amazing! I know that people feel slammed by her point of view sometimes but I think she’s dead on. And because she knows that people might feel slammed and she is still unwilling to back down, she is my hero. Let me point out, too, that she is harder on no one than she is on herself and that kind of unflinching commitment is awesome. Now awesome like 80s valley girl but awesome as in inspiring awe. People like the author of this book and people like Dru remind me that if I’m pretending like nothing’s wrong, then I’m part of the problem. I am inspired by these two (using Sharon E. Rush’s term) “white people of goodwill” and will endeavor to become one, too.
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Tags: Noah
Adoption ambivalence yet again
Jan 17, 2003 Adoption
The agency called about their financial support program. We still need to come up with an initial outlay of $1300 although this is in theory paid back in the future through various subsidies. It’s a huge amount of money for us to come up with our own, even knowing that we should get it back.
It’s these kinds of practical things that underline my worries and fears about taking this major step forward. The reading I’m doing hasn’t been reassuring. It’s a little like reading about how to drive a car when you’ve never even been in one before. I know that until I’m actually doing it, it won’t really make sense but I’m scared of being able to do it. Read the rest of this entry »
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Tags: Infertility, Noah, open adoption