Looking at profiles
Jan 27, 2003 Adoption
I’m browsing through some of the profiles that people using our adoption agency have put up online. Some of them are really heartbreaking. So far all of the couples I’m reading about have had primary infertility. They mention their treatments in passing but you know that their path to adoption has been agonizing. One couple lost triplets at 22 weeks. Wait, there’s one couple with secondary infertility. Their daughter was premature and they lost a son three months after his birth. I read these stories and am once again reminded of how lucky we are.
Most of the prospective adoptive parents have big houses in the suburbs; they mention how many bathrooms they have and the quality of their local school. The pictures show these modern homes surrounded by chemically green lawns. They look like stereotypes of the neighborhoods where kids should grow up. I wonder how we’ll look against them in our tiny house in a neighborhood on the wrong side of the tracks. Even Dan Savage has money. They are all Christian (most are practicing Catholics actually), too.
Well, maybe it’s the weirdness of us that will make us look good to somebody.
January 28th, 2003 at 2:10 am
Don’t worry too much about how you look to the social workers, especially financially. Trust me, we were not at all well-off, yet we had no trouble adopting at all. I think what counts is that it shows that you have a lot of love to offer. I know those reams of paper that you have to fill out and all the home visits, etc. can be unnerving, but it’s so worth it!!
January 28th, 2003 at 12:31 pm
Who’s Dan Savage?
January 28th, 2003 at 10:41 pm
FWIW I had a friend in high school who placed her baby for adoption, and she didn’t want a “Stepford family” (as she called them) to adopt her daughter. She wanted a family who would have enough money to care for her child, obviously, but she felt the love they could offer was more valuable than the great schools or 5-bedroom home.
I think you’ll find something similar, too. I’m thinking of you while you go through this process.