Interracial Families in Friendship
Nov 19, 2002 Adoption
Cool. A support group here in town. Someone on our adoption list mentioned it.
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Ahhh romance!
Nov 18, 2002 The Story of My Life
You’ve Got Mail: links to journalers who met their partners online.
Me, I picked my partner up in a bar. I don’t think I’ve told the following details of this here yet but if I have, feel free to skip it. Heck, feel free to skip it even if I haven’t.
It was March of 1990. I was at Mean Mister Mustard’s, a campus dive, watching these stupid (white) frat boys dance to Public Enemy’s “Fight the Power.” I said to my friend, K, “God, they’re such white boys!”
Brett (who I had noticed earlier because he has a big nose and I like that in a man — note Alan Cumming has a big nose) was standing kinda near us and he leaned over and said, “Light boys?”
After that sterling opening line I asked him his name and he told me then added suavely (or so he thought), “I like long walks on the beach at sunset.” And I thought, “What an asshole!”
Then later as our conversation became deeper he said, “I have to be honest, I’m a busboy and I live with my parents.” And I thought, “What a loser!”
But I also thought he looked a little like Crispin Glover so I gave him my number and drove him home (he was too drunk to drive) and he called me two days later and then we fell IN LOVE and moved in together then moved to Portland then got married then had a baby then moved back to Columbus and that pretty much sums it all up.
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Tags: Portland
The story of my (furniture) life
Nov 18, 2002 The Story of My Life
OK, I was trying to figure out how much money we spent on all of our furniture so I’m taking it room by room. This probably won’t interest people but it will interest me so here I go… Read the rest of this entry »
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My sister again
Nov 18, 2002 Family
I’m trying to get her to give me this for Christmas if it doesn’t sell.
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Our extended family and the adoption
Nov 18, 2002 Adoption
I was a little worried when I first started thinking about talking to my family (and Brett’s family) about the adoption. Not just because adoption is hard for some people to wrap their minds around but also specifically about adopting a child of another race. Specifically a black child. Our families are liberal but it’s still a big leap. It’s one thing to think about adoption generally. People do that all of the time. We used to do that all of the time. As I mentioned, Brett and I always planned on adopting but planning and actually doing are hugely different, as I’m learning. Planning doesn’t mean you have to go through with it, you can just talk about it and feel good about the idea. Actually doing it means that you have to confront all of those ugly issues.
Anyway, my mom reads this blog off and on so she knew we were considering it. I hadn’t mentioned it yet because I wanted to have a concrete plan before I started trumpeting around about it but then she brought it up. She asked if we would also convert this child to Judaism (and the answer is yes, which is the only reason I have a preference for a girl because I don’t want to go head-to-head with my rabbi again over the circumcision issue — well, that and the fact that girls’ clothes are cuter but I can deal with missing out on those).
We talked again this weekend about what the agency has been saying and what our time frame is on this. My mom said something about accupuncture improving fertility and I said that I couldn’t afford accupuncture but that also while I still wanted to get healthier, I didn’t want it tied to fertility anymore; I want to move on. She said, “Do you really think you’re going to get a baby then?” I told her that it was virtually guaranteed. She said, “Good. I want to be really involved with this because I want to be in on the bonding.” That thrilled me to no end.
Yesterday we were at Brett’s parents’ house and Brett’s mom was awkwardly trying to offer some sympathy about our baby-troubles and I felt bad for her so I caught her up on the adoption stuff, too. She was excited and encouraging.
And my sister has been great throughout. My brother thinks adoption sounds “cool” as does Brett’s little brother. Brett’s middle brother doesn’t talk with his family much so he isn’t aware of what’s going on anyway but I’m sure he’d grunt and nod or something.
I haven’t talked to my dad about it only because it doesn’t occur to me to talk to him about stuff. My sister may have mentioned it to him. He’ll be fine, I’m sure.
Ahhh, yes, life is good! Now if only we could find the money for the application fee *and* the new oven *and* the holiday expenses. But where there’s a will, there’s a way (or so I’m told). One of my references told me that the children’s home called her. She thought it was about an adoption at first and gushed about my parenting. I’m sure they were thoroughly confused but I thought it was hilarious.
