For We Have Brains
Sep 23, 2002 Feminism/Politics
we have brains collab this week:
1. Whatever spiritual practice you follow (or don’t follow), what led you to that decision? Did you consider different religions? How much did the treatment of various groups (women, gays, etc.) in religious dogma or action influence your choices?
I decided to become officially Jewish because I felt such strong ties to Judaism. I was raised believing that I was a Jew and only as an adult did I discover that while culturally I may be Jewish (my father is Jewish), halachically (according to Jewish law) I am *not* Jewish. I can never be Jewish according to most Conservative and all Orthodox teaching but I am a Reform Jew now, having converted (along with my then 4-year old son) last year. And Hitler would’ve hated me; that oughta count for something.
I want to have a religious foundation for my son as a way to bring ritual and formal celebrations to our home and also as a way to begin talking about Big Questions. I began exploring and I looked into Quakers (still too Christian for me) and Unitarian Universalism (too flaky for me) because both are historically progressive. Reform Judaism is, too. My rabbi officiates at gay/lesbian marriages and that was a draw to this particular synagogue.
Traditionally, of course, Judaism is incredibly patriarchal and sexist. As a Reform Jew, I am free to reject those teachings but they’re still part of the underlying history of Judaism. On the one hand, this is very difficult for me. On the other hand, it’s an opportunity to discuss these things with Noah.
2. Do you think feminism and religion are at odds? Is your own feminism counter to any of your spiritual beliefs? Counter to the dogma of your religious group? If so, how can these things be reconciled?
Now obviously I could never be a fundamentalist anything because I firmly believe that religion belongs to us, the people. It’s a way to search for meaning and a way to open ourselves up to bigger truths.
One of the things that inspired me to become the Jew that *I* want to be and believe I must be was a book about nuns who were defying the Catholic Church. The book was Sisters: Lives of Devotion and Defiance. In reading it I realized that if these women could be nuns despite being way more socially progressive than their church (one is out-spoken about her pro-abortion rights beliefs), then I could also “take back” Judaism.
Religion is not about dogma; it’s about a relationship with God/Goddess/G-d — whatever you call your higher power, if you have a higher power. It’s also about connection to your fellow human beings (there are Jewish atheists, Quaker atheists, and UU atheists among my friends/acquaintances). I wish more progressive people would “take back” the religion that is/was dear to them. I wish more feminists would infiltrate the Catholic church to take back what is meaningful for them and to fight against what’s not. Religion is *for* us; I think we have to make it our own.
Hey, if I can reject circumcision and still be a Jew and if that nun can be pro-choice and get kicked out of the “official” church and still be a Catholic, then you have a right to your beliefs, too. Take it back! It belongs to you!
September 23rd, 2002 at 9:29 pm
I respectfully disagree
She (nun) may call herself a Catholic, but if she is not following the church teachings she is not a Catholic. I have a very hard time wrapping my head around someone wanting to belong - to anything-by their set of rules/dogma, choices. There are other churches, communities - if one does not like where one is. I don’t think the church should be tailored to me. The Catholic church is definitely not a democracy 
My mother left the convent (obviously before marriage etc.) because of things she disagreed with, did not expect the church to change for her. Same for me, i left for a time - it never changed, i did.
September 23rd, 2002 at 11:29 pm
I applaud those who wish to reform the Church even if I agree with Eli on the idea that if you don’t like it, leave. That’s what I did. But I still admire those willing to stay behind & fight the good fight.
September 23rd, 2002 at 11:38 pm
You might be interested in reading Douglas Rushkoff’s comments about Judaism on his web log:
http://www.rushkoff.com/blog/html.
September 24th, 2002 at 6:37 am
Hmmmmm….I’m a practising Catholic and I have some very liberal views, having been educated by a pretty radical bunch of nuns myself ;-), so I KWYM, Dawn. While I couldn’t honestly endorse abortion (although I think that it should be legal), there are any number of any other issues, like contraception, that are actually matters of conscience rather than dogma. And I am never in the least surprised by Catholics who are pro-choice - the church has some very, very diverse viewpoints and I think think it’s important to recognise that cultural interpretations of Catholicism vary significantly. Here in Australia, for example, the church is generally a far, far more politically and socially liberal institution than in the US. I’d say the church here is a hell of a lot more democratic than it is in Eastern Europe, for example - and it’s as well to recall that the Pope has not spoken infallibly on anything since (I think) 1933.
September 25th, 2002 at 12:59 pm
Dawn- I lurk occasionally at your blog (which I must admit sounds weird but then this whole on-line journal that other people can read is a phenomenon I haven’t quite wrapped my head around yet). I post at YAAPS and followed a link there to one blog and eventually came here, yada, yada.
Anyway, I wanted to ask you about this whole conversion thing. I am a non-Jew married to a Jew. We have two daughters. We are raising them Jewish and belong to an unaffilliated shul, which has a Reconstructionist Rabbi but uses a Conservative siddur. They follow the Reconstructionist (and Reform) practice on children of non-Jewish mothers- they allow patrilineal descent. Meaning, they can be Bat Mitzvahed and are considered Jewish if their father is Jewish and they are raised Jewishly. I have no problem with them going through a formal conversion ceremony but my husband doesn’t see a need. We are open with my DDs (at least my older one- 9) that different Jews have different ways of expressing their Judaism and that not all Jews follow patrilineal descent. If she choses to have a conversion that is fine.
I am wondering what made you decide to convert rather than just allow yourself to be considered Jewish through patrilineal descent? Were you raised practicing Judaism? Were you bat mitzvahed? Was the issue that Brett is not Jewish so that your son wouldn’t be Jewish? But I’m thinking that if under Reform you would be Jewish it would transfer to your son. Does that make sense? Anyway, I am just trying to get insight into this because it has a personal connection to me and I wonder how my daughters will feel about this. We are very liberal (politically and Jewishly!) but definitely have a Jewish home and DH is even a Hebrew school teacher! So the Jewish identity thing is pretty strong. I’m wondering if that makes a difference?
Anything you feel like sharing would be great. Or you could tell me to take a hike.
My e-mail is sarahs@ivillage.com if you want to send a response there.
Thanks!!
Sarah