Noah’s thoughts on infertility
Last night Brett and Noah were playing baseball in the backyard while I was making dinner (stromboli) and I came out on the deck while it was baking and told Brett that our friend D. in Portland was in labor.
“I think she may even have had the baby already!” I said.
Noah looked over and asked, “Why aren’t you having a baby?”
Now this was odd for him to ask because he knows that Brett and I want another baby and he knows that my body “doesn’t work right” and that I’ve been seeing a doctor about it. When I’ve had miscarriages and been crying we’ve just told him, “Mommy thought she was having a baby and found out that it was a mistake” so he doesn’t know those details but he knows.
“My body doesn’t work right,” I answered. “Remember?”
“Why don’t you go see a doctor?”
“I have seen the doctor but doctors can’t always fix these things.”
“Why don’t you get some medicine?”
“I did but the medicine didn’t seem to help.”
“Well,” he said thoughtfully. “I think you should go in there and ask for another kind of medicine. I think you should ask for all the different kinds.”
“There aren’t that many kinds,” I said. “Besides, having a baby is a miracle, too, and doctors can’t always make someone get pregnant.”
“That’s God,” he said.
“Yes, I think so.”
He swung his bat a little, thinking.
“Maybe you need to act differently if you want to have a baby.”
“Act differently how?”
“Calmer,” answers Noah. “Not so loud and angry.”
Hmmm. That’s certainly gave me some food for thought.
“Am I loud and angry a lot?” I ask, dreading the answer.
“Sometimes,” Noah says, nonchalantly. “And maybe you should show the baby that you are a nice, calm mommy instead of a nasty, angry mommy.”
(As an aside, I’ll tell you that we had a big fight yesterday about the television.)
“That’s a good idea,” I said but added (because I think honesty is the best policy). “But sometimes I act like a nice, calm mommy and sometimes I act like a nasty, angry mommy and I don’t know if I can be calm all of the time.”
I asked Noah where he thought the baby was that it could be watching what kind of mommy I am.
“Hiding out in your uterus,” he answered confidentally.
I should mention that sometime last year he asked me “What the daddy has to do with it” in regards to getting pregnant but when I started to answer he leapt from the couch and ran downstairs with his hands over his ears. Apparently ignorance is bliss. But he must not be that ignorant or he wouldn’t have run before I got the words out.
OUCH - out of the mouth of babes! Oh they are so painfully truthful (thank God) but ow! R. has been so with me lately, and it really helps me improve - little mirror, showing me what i do not like but will not look at sometimes.
OMG…he’s too cute! That’s what I love & hate about kids…they are just too honest. My nephew a few years ago hugged me while I was putting him in his carseat. He called me his fat Roni. He didn’t mean to be mean, I know that…but boy, did it smack me!
That little man of yours is a wonder!